J-Lay

A Blog Before I New What A Blog Was: War

2008-12-16T04:55:00.003-06:00

The following is a letter I wrote before I new what a blog was. I felt I should post it.

March 23, 2003

Friends,

The past two evenings I have watched the movies, “Windtalkers” and “We Were Soldiers,” respectively. I myself have never experienced war; for I am only 22 years of age, and this is the first war I am of age to be a part of. Through these movies and others preceding I have gotten a glimpse of the horror of war. More so from the two movies I have cited. Before when I viewed a movie similar to “We Were Soldiers”, it was a fairy tale to me, another story for my entertainment pleasure. With recent events these movies are no longer stories to me. Through our ever changing society, our ever changing moral values, and the technology of today we have created depiction of war that are more real than we have ever experienced. So real that we get a sense of the tragedy war really is.

We grow up learning in school about war through books and documentary videos that are cold and lifeless. Presented as facts—numbers and names in a time that happened before us. Taught mostly by people who don’t know war any better than we do ourselves.

Now we are in war. I watch these movies and tremble at the thought that some of our fellow men and women are going through what I have seen in these movies. For what I have seen represents hell to me. War is of sin—the root of all evil. War is a place where nations of people come together to kill each other because they disagree. War is a place where nations of people comet together because of one leader’s greed for power or his/her vision of utopia. War is a place of failure. Failure to do what is just, right, and humane by our fellow man, failure to love.

Whether we agree or disagree with our fellow man it is our responsibility to love one another as ourselves. But alas, we are human. We constantly fall short of the glory of God. We lie. We cheat. We steel. We murder. We commit adultery. We go to war.

With this said I pray to God. God, forgive us as we have once again failed you. Please Lord, have mercy upon us. Watch over us as well as our enemies as we fight with one another defending against what we believe to be wrong, or as in our enemies’ case, a misguided leadership. I pray that decisions are made to keep casualties at a minimum. Console those who have already lost loved ones to war. As well as those who will. Lord neither you nor I wish the disease of war upon anyone. But by choices made by men in the mist of there sin, we have engulfed ourselves in it. May it end quickly, Lord. I pray this in your son’s holly and precious name, Jesus Christ. Amen

100,000 Miles

2008-10-17T15:16:00.002-05:00

Yesterday on my way home from work my Toyota Corolla eclipsed the 100,000 mile mark. Normally this might not be a big deal to me. I've owned other cars that had over 100k miles and/or passed the mark while I was driving it. But this time it is different because I've owned the car since the beginning. The first time I got in the car to test drive it there were only 4 miles on the odometer. So this car is my "baby". Claudia thinks I'm a dork for taking the following pictures, and maybe I am, but I'm okay with that.

Birthday Present (28th Birday)

2008-10-16T11:33:00.000-05:00

Last month, for my birthday, Claudia took me on a surprise trip to The Crossings just North of Austin. Well, the trip wasn't so much of a surprise, but the destination was. On my birthday, a Saturday, we took off driving South on I-35 from Fort Worth. The led me to believe that we were going to either Austin or San Antonio. On our way to the final destination we stopped in Waco to eat lunch with my friend, practically a brother, DJ. He wanted to know where we were going, but all I could tell him was "I don't know, it was my birthday surprise." Claudia wouldn't even let him in on the secret. I guess she thought he might tell me.
After lunch we continued South on I-35 towards Austin/San Antonio. I had asked Claudia if I could drive because I started to feel a little car-sick in the passenger's seat. She didn't mind because she could give me directions just as easy as she could drive it herself. I think it was a good idea anyway because it allowed her to read the directions without driving at the same time. (She worries me when she multi-tasks in the car) Our final destination, The Crossings, was near Round Rock. The Crossings is a resort where people can simply relax. It is an all inclusive stay so that you don't have to leave their peaceful environment to go get food. As cool as it was to eat there I wish the food was a bit better and a little less healthy. While we were there we went on a hike, a couple of walks, played Disney Trivia on our suites porch as the sun set, and relaxed. Oh, and we took pictures all along the way. (You can see them at the end of the blog)
Sunday after checking out of the resort we headed to where we plan on getting married, Chapel Dulcinea, in Austin. It was about 30 minutes away, and when we were five minutes away from the Chapel Claudia realized she left her phone in the room and we had to turn around and go back to the resort. She was freaking out and felt bad that we had driven for half an hour and had to turn around and go back, but I took it all in stride. While we were back at the resort Claudia and I decided to eat one last meal there, but we both kinda wished we hadn't since it was the worst one of the weekend. But it kept us from starving.
Finally we made it to the chapel. We arrived right as a bride and her mom did for a wedding that was about to start. The mom asked if we were there for the wedding, I wanted to ask if we looked like we were dressed for one, and I told her no. She then asked if I would carry a radio and a CD to the chapel for them so that she would have music to walk down the trail to, and I told her that I would. It was strange to me, but I commend her for her boldness. We didn't want to disturb the wedding so we walked to the reception hall to have a look around. On our way to the reception hall we came across a family of deer! It was totally unexpected and I shot a few good pictures of the deer. When the wedding was finished we scoped out the chapel and took pictures of it. We really like it. It is small and most will have to stand for our wedding, but it won't take long and the view over looking the hills is beautiful.

Now it is time for pictures. Click on a picture to enlarge it.

The Proposal

2008-09-17T10:34:00.002-05:00

On August 9th I made the decision to follow through on a bold statement that I made to Claudia on our third date eight months prior. That statement was, "I'm going to marry you." I know, that is a crazy statement to make on a third date. I didn't know it was possible to be so sure so early. For the longest time I felt that I should wait two years before ever proposing to a woman. But on August 9th I placed on order for an engagement ring and I received the ring on August 12th. For the next three days I pondered when and where I would pop "the question." I finally decided I would do it on the upcoming Sunday. I wanted to take Claudia hiking on an area trail and propose with the beauty of nature around us. I wanted it all to be a surprise and I didn't tell Claudia that I wanted to go hiking. When she told me that she had accepted an invite for both of us to go to a gathering at a friend's house to celebrate an Indian holiday I was a tad discouraged.

The celebration was in the early afternoon and we were there only a few hours. After leaving the two of us went home to clean the apartment. On the way home Claudia told me she wanted to have a romantic evening after cleaning the apartment, and that she would make chocolate covered strawberries that we could eat while drinking wine in the candle light. At that moment I decided that I could ride this wave and propose to Claudia during our romantic evening. She was planning her own proposal and didn't even know it!

When we got home I told here that I would clean the bedroom and the kitchen, but before I do that I needed go to the gas station to fill my car up with gasoline. That was a lie because I actually went to the grocery store to buy a single rose and some black ribbon that I would use to tie the ring to the rose; just as the Phantom did in Phantom of the Opera, Claudia's favorite musical. When I got back from the store I used a piece of wood from the trunk of my car, which was left over from a shelf that I made for the armoire the previous day, to hide the rose from Claudia as I snuck it into the bedroom. While Claudia was cleaning the living room I pulled the ring from its hiding place, HER jewelry box, tied it to the rose, and hid it under the bed. After cleaning the bedroom and making the bed I proceeded to light candles, turn off the lights, grab the strawberries, two glasses, and a bottle of wine from the kitchen. I set up everything on the dresser and placed the rose, with the ring tied to it, on a pillow in the center of the bed.

Once Claudia was done cleaning show followed me to the bedroom and jumped onto the bed. While jumping she twisted in midair so that she would land on her back. After landing on the bed she proceeds to roll over the rose! As I'm standing there looking at her with a giant grin on my face I could tell she was wondering why I too didn't jump on the bed to lay beside her. That's when I pointed out the rose on the bed. She quickly picked it up, and while lying on her back, looked at it and smelt it. Now I'm standing at the foot of the bed chuckling at how unobservant Claudia can be at times. Okay, most of the time. She wanted to know why I was laughing. All I could tell her was, "You're so cute!" "Why?" She asked. I told her to look at the rose and two seconds later she says, "SHUT-UP!" Then I got up on the bed, and while on my hands and knees, just a foot from her face, I asked her if she would marry me. With tears in her eyes she said yes.

We are set to be married on March 26, 2009 in Austin, TX. It will be a small wedding of close friends and family and will be held at Chapel Dulcinea.

Two Plus Years Of Statements Filed

2008-07-18T21:30:00.003-05:00

Some people shred them, some people never open them, and some people file them away. What am I talking about? Account statements. I keep every statement for every account that I have ever had. For the longest time I was good about filing each statement away in its folder, right behind the one I received the previous month. I did this for six years. Then, all of a sudden, I quit. For the past two and a half years I've been tossing my statements in a pile. The pile started on a table and then got moved to a desk and finally got so big it ended up on the floor. For several months I've been telling myself that I need to sort and file my statements, but having to sort, put in order, and then file two years of statements of some 15 accounts can take a lot of time. Last night I broke down and did it. I sorted, put in order, and filed all my statements for all of my various accounts; bank accounts, investments, insurance, loans, credit cards, electricity, water, cell phone, cable, and internet. Total time spent filing, four hours. I feel a lot better now that all my statements are filed away in their appropriate file cabinet, and my bedroom floor is a lot cleaner; and I plan on keeping that way.

A Few Firsts

2008-07-09T11:50:00.000-05:00

I started to write this post on May 28th and never got around to finishing it. That is until today. Prior to May 24, 2008 I had never been to Ikea, P.F. Changs, a Rough Rider's baseball game, had a pedicure, or waxed my back, but now I can say I have.

I wanted to build with Habitat Memorial Day weekend, but due to the holiday they didn't schedule any houses to be worked on. So my Saturday was pretty open and Claudia knew just what to fill it with...Ikea. I must say that I had been curious as to what people loved so much about Ikea, but not enough to make a stop without reason. We arrived at Ikea, 35 miles from Claudia's casa, around noon and walked out around 2pm. I must admit that I find the layout and overall concept of Ikea to be pretty cool. I can see why it is so popular. It has quality merchandise at reasonable prices. All the furniture they sell needs to be assembled which allows them to maximize their shipments and store more of their merchandise in their warehouse, and thus allows them to keep their prices very competitive. I didn't have a need to go to Ikea so all I ended up buying were 10 hangers and six boxes of Anna's Swedish Cookies, which are awesome!

Sunday morning we went to the nail salon that Claudia prefers to get our pedicures. When I sat down in the automated massage/pedicure chair I looked across the way and saw my friend Jessica who live in Fort Worth, but goes to church with me in Dallas. It totally caught me off guard. I couldn't keep my pedicure a secret anymore, for I had been spotted by a friend who would gladly tell many of our friends where I had been. The pedicure experience was fun. I sat in a massage chair for an hour while a woman massaged my calves and feet with hot stones, and cleaned up my toe nails. For the record I did not have my nails painted or a clear coat put on them. I simply had them trimmed and buffed, and my cuticles cleaned up.

After Claudia and I were done with our pedicures we went downtown to eat lunch at P.F. Changs prior to this I had never eaten at P.F. Changs. In 2004 I walked into a P.F. Changs in North Dallas and sat at the bar. I intended to order food, but after being ignored for 15 minutes I walked out and made a decision not to go back. Despite this Claudia insisted that I give them another chance. I must say that I enjoyed our lunch and the service was awesome.

The following weekend Claudia went to a beauty supply store and purchased a waxing kit to wax my back. I've never liked my back hair. Shaving it just causes it to feel like shark skin when rubbed against the direction of the hair growth, and I don't care much for that. So I was open to waxing it. I must say that I was pleased with the results of my back waxing, three days later. While my back was being waxed I wasn't a fan of it. I basically had 45 large band-aids ripped off my back; which caused it to be irritated for a couple of days, and covered with a bunch of red bumps. Only later did I find out from a gay friend that we should have put talcum powder on my back prior to waxing. This causes the wax not to stick to the skin as much which causes the irritation. Only a gay man would know this. I really should consult a gay man prior to any future cosmetic procedures.

For the 4th of July holiday Claudia and I went to watch the Rough Rider's baseball game and their fireworks show afterwards. In 2002 I went on a tour of the park prior to its opening and in 2007 I attended a game that was rained out. The tickets are fairly priced and there isn't a bad seat in the stadium due to its small size. We bought the only available seats a couple days before the game, which happened to be the lawn in the outfield. I'm happy to report that I not only was I able to watch the game, but I got to watch the Rough Riders win.

Her Familia

2008-05-15T14:35:00.002-05:00

Two weeks ago Claudia and I hopped into my car and drove to Del Rio, Texas to visit her family. On Friday we drove half of the way and spent the night in San Marcos. Our night ended up being free since Claudia killed a roach in our room, and no we didn't stay in the Roach Motel. We actually stayed at a decent hotel. Even a nice place can have a roach now and again. Saturday we continued our trip to Del Rio and arrived at around 11:00 AM. This gave us plenty of time to visit a large part of her large family.

Our first stop was at her Aunt Rosie (aka "Chayo"). We spent some time with her and her Uncle Jack (A white man who paved the way for me a long time ago). Next we stopped by her cousin Dale's (a man who carries a gun for a living) and I had the chance to meet "the girls" (Dale's daughters: Ashley, Leigh and Brook). After that we stopped by Sara's house (Claudia's mom's boss, and someone they consider family) and I got the meet all her animals. This included a small poodle, a 100 pound dog (that looked more like a small bear), two donkeys, three sheep, and a dwarf steer. One of the donkeys tried eat my shirt and the bear...I mean 100 pound dog tried to bite my neck as I stood-up from a chair; All-in-all good times. Afterwards we went by her Aunt Olga's (aka "Ma" because she helped raise Claudia) & Tio Ricardo's house. Her Uncle Joe was there and her cousin Joe's kids, Natalia and Alonso. Her cousin Sofia was working that evening so we went by her work to visit for a few minutes. That night her cousin Dale had a cookout and invited us to party with him for a while.

The next day we played a practical joke on her cousin Sofia at work. Sofia works at a gas station and I walked up to the counter with flavored condoms and baby oil. She about flipped out! After that we went to the lake with two of her girls (Leigh and Brook). Following our trip to the lake we stopped by Letty and her husband's house. Letty is like a second mom to Claudia. She can't speak English so Claudia and her mom translated for the two of us. Letty asked me lots of questions. Her first one was "Well, do you love her?" Claudia says she is a bit bold and loves her lots; even the language barrier couldn't hide that. Next we went to the Plaza for gorditas at the Cinco de Mayo celebration. The food was very good and very fattening. Just as we were headed off to bed her cousin James (another gun carrier), and wife Julissa, called to let us know he was 2 blocks away from her mom's house and were going to drop in to meet me. So we stayed up and talked to him for a bit.

On Monday we met two more cousins, Joe (aka "Jojo"), and Sofia's daughter Mireyah. It was sort of a lazy day for us. We sat around and did nothing for most of the day. That evening we went to watch Ashley play softball and hung out with the Dixon's some more. We stopped by their house after the game and her cousins all played a little game of "hide Mom's keys"....Brook and Claudia made it seem like I had taken them when they were the ones up to no good. Claudia says it was because I wouldn't help her while her mom searched her for the keys.

We woke up early the next morning and headed home, but not before she made me stopped in San Marcos for some fun outlet mall shopping. I must admit it was a good stop because I too bought new clothes. Our day ended around 10 pm because of a softball game I had that night, and we were back to our regular schedules the next morning.

Every time we visited a part of her family they would tell me how the rest of the family is crazy. I think the whole family, excluding her mom, is crazy but in a wild and fun way. Claudia says I fit right in :).

My First 5K Caused Me To Pass On Free Booze Twice!

2008-04-22T12:40:00.000-05:00

Saturday night Claudia and I ended up at the art festival in downtown Fort Worth. She had scored a pair of VIP tickets from work that would allow us to eat and drink (alcohol) for free. Unfortunately we got there to late to enjoy the food and ended up not drinking because we had a 5k race to run the next day.

Sunday I ran, jogged, and walked my first 5k run (3.1 miles). I only had one month to train for it and set a goal for myself to complete the race in the 25 minute range. I hadn't run for an extended period of time since last summer due to changing my workout routine and having a slight knee injury in October. After my first week of training I started to wonder if my goal was too ambitious. As I entered my fourth week of training I realized that my goal to finish in 25 minutes had been a bit ambitious, but felt I could finish in less than 30 minutes; and I did. I completed the race in 27:48. It felt really good to complete the 5k. It was the longest measured run I'd ever attempted. I'm pretty sure in high school I ran farther than 5k during numerous basketball practices, but it was never measured.

Both before and after the race free food and drinks, including beer and margaritas, were being served. I guess it was for the people who were walking the 5k because who in their right mind would drink alcohol before or right after a 5k? Some might think it is crazy to pass up free booze twice in one weekend, but given the circumstances I’m sure they would understand.

Takin' Her Home

2008-04-11T21:51:00.004-05:00

This past weekend I took Claudia with me to my hometown to meet my family. This isn't something I make a habit of. I took Claudia to my home town because I wanted her to know more about me. What better way for someone to know more about you than to meet the people that helped make you who you are. Claudia got to meet my dad, my dad's parents, my aunt & uncle, my cousin and her husband, and one of my two best friends. She really wanted to get some dirt on me. She wanted to hear embarrassing childhood stories about me. she seemed a bit disappointed when no one could give here any good stories because the fact is I was a well behaved kid. Instead she heard stories of my dad and my brother.

Our weekend was fairly low key. Friday evening we chilled with my cousin, her husband, and my best friend. We thought about going out that night, but after sitting on a comfy coach we became tired and changed our minds. Saturday morning my awesome cousin cooked us waffles for breakfast, we stayed at her house. She even served chocolate covered strawberries with the waffles, it was awesome. After breakfast Claudia and I went for a short jog. Well, she jogged and I fell. While we were jogging side by side I stubbed my toe on an elevated section of the sidewalk and hit the ground like a two year old. I popped up and kept right on jogging out of embarrassment. I had to fall in front of a busy road.

For lunch we ate steaks at Texas Roadhouse followed by a little bit of shopping at the local mall. Later that evening we ate dinner at my aunt and uncle's house, more red meat (hamburgers), and a couple of hours of letting the food digest. Once our food digested, around 8:30, we left and ended up going to my favorite bar in Wichita Falls to play darts and pool, much like the night before we ended up going to bed before midnight. Really this was for the best since we were going to church with my cousin and her husband the next morning. After church the next morning the five of us, the fifth being my cousin's baby, went out to lunch at a local Tex-Mex restaurant. After we were done eating Claudia used her special abilities to communicate to the waitress that she wanted to pay for lunch.

Following lunch we packed our things and left my cousin's house and went visit with my dad for a while. After a couple hours of great conversation on the gazebo we left and made one last stop at my best friend's house before heading back to Cow Town. I must say that our visit was a great success. My family welcomed here with open arms and Claudia reciprocated the affection. I can only hope her family does the same for me.

Loning Money To A Woman In Peru

2008-04-02T22:31:00.006-05:00

In September of 2007 I joined a group of people who loaned money to a man in Ecuador via a website known as Kiva.org. Over a six month period he paid us all back 100% of the loan as he promised. As do 97% of the people who are loaned money via Kiva. Today I added another $25 to my kiva account and have loaned $50 to a woman in Peru named Rosa Mary Zevallos Davilo.

Rosa Mary Zevallos Davilo runs a small market in the tropical city of Pucallpa, Ucayali. At her market she sells clothing, shoes, and tools. She started her market one year ago after running a bodega for many years. When the bodega didn’t work out she changed her focus and she now has a successful business. Rosa is 32 years old, single, and has two children. She is happy to have her business and a supportive family that helps her with her children. She works and saves daily so that one day she can send her children to study at a university.

If you want to know more about kiva you can either go to kiva.org or read this article that was published in the Wall Street Journal on March 20, 2008.

My First 5k Run

2008-03-20T00:12:00.001-05:00

Last week I was suckered into signing up to run in the Rise & Shine 5k Run/Walk by a pretty woman, my girlfriend. It will be my first ever 5k to participate in. For those who don't know a 5k is about 3.1 miles (I had to look that up). The purpose of the run is to raise money for The Rise School of Dallas. The Rise program focuses on the needs of toddlers and preschoolers who have developmental disabilities. You can find out more about the program and how it got started by clicking here.

When the proposition to run a 5k first was given to me I wasn't all that excited, but I was willing to suck-it-up to keep from making a withdrawal from Claudia's emotional bank account. After reading what the event was for I felt better about my commitment to run 3 miles. I was raised around children with disabilities, I have a severely retarded cousin and a former step-brother with Down syndrome, and they have a special place in my heart. Beyond believing in the cause I knew it wouldn't hurt me to be able to run 3 miles. I've slacked off of my workouts over the past five months and have gained about 10 pounds. Loosing some of those 10 pounds would be nice. Now I know I can't loose 10 pounds by running 3 miles, but in the four weeks I have to train for the run I plan on running between 25 and 30 miles.

My goal is to run the 3.1 miles in 25 minutes. Currently it is hard for me to run one mile in 8 minutes. So for me to run three with an average of just over 8 minutes per mile will take some work. I found a training program online that is suppose to help me get there in 6 weeks. The only problem with the program is that I only have 4 weeks to train. I modified it to fit my 4 weekend deadline and I hope it works.

I'm a Jackass

2008-03-12T22:50:00.003-05:00

As a man it is inevitable that I act like a jackass every now and then. Well, today was one of those days. My incredibly sweet girlfriend, Claudia, wrote a poem for me and sent it to me in an email. Instead of responding back with how much I loved the poem, I responded with how much I loved the poem and pointed out two grammatical errors that she made. This jackass move crushed her spirit. She was excited to show me how much she loves me and I squashed her passion like an ant in the kitchen.

I didn't mean to hurt her feelings. I was actually trying to protect her. I knew she would print it out or post it somewhere and I didn't want it to have an error on it. That is why I pointed out the two lines that needed to be changed. If I had written the poem and I published it with grammatical errors I'd be aggravated and embarrased, and I didn't want her to feel that way. In the process of trying to spare her feelings I ended up kicking them to the curb.

I've since apologized multiple times in multiple ways, but I still feel like a jackass.

An Awesome Target Experience

2008-03-07T20:49:00.004-06:00

Tonight I went to Target to do two things. Thing one was to pick up a photo that I sent in via Flickr to have developed. Thing two was to buy enough food to last my brother and I two weeks. Of course I took care of thing one first. After picking up my photo, which was for the cover of the awesome photo album Claudia (girl friend) made for me, I grabbed a shopping cart put my photo in the child seat. I walked around the store throwing everything that was on my mental list and more into the cart. $215, I know....crazy, and over an hour later I exit the store with my cart full of food and my photo. After unloading the cart into the trunk of my car I walked the cart to the cart return, got into my car, and then drove home. Just after taking all my groceries into my apartment I started to unload the bags. AsI unloaded bags I realized that I never took my photo out of the cart! I proceeded to unload all refrigerator and freezer items as quickly as possible and bolted out of my apartment and back to the store.

Once I made it to the store I check the cart return area for what was once my cart, but it had already been picked up by the cart boy. I walked up to the store and tried to look at all the carts that I could in the "cart cage", but I didn't have any luck. My photo was no where to be found. This sucked. The print only cost me $1.72 and I've left more expensive things in a cart before. For example, I once left a $14 bottle of laundry detergent in the bottom of my cart. The $1.72 wasn't the issue. The issue was that I was excited to make my print the cover of my photo album and because of a moment of forgetfulness I was being denied that joy.

I walked into the store and to the photo department. I told the lady behind the counter, Annette, what had happened and asked her if she could print my photo for me again. She told me she would be happy to do so, but they don't save the online prints in their system. So I would have to drive home and go online to submit my print again, and I did. Two beers, a small pizza, and an hour later I went back to the store to pick up my print. I walked up to the counter, pulled out my wallet and waited for Annette to make her way back to the counter to assist me. She pulled out my print without asking me my last name and placed it on the counter. She smiled and made no move towards the register. It was in that moment that I knew there would be no charge for the reprint. I told her thank you, have a nice night, and walked away from the counter a lot happier than when I pulled up to the store for the third time in only a few short hours.

I want to take a moment to once again say thank you Annette; have a nice night.

Meeting Mom

2008-02-18T21:31:00.003-06:00

This past weekend I had the privilege of meeting Claudia's mom. Her mom likes to visit once a month, but sometimes life gets in the way, and it had been two months since her and Claudia had spent time together. So I was honored to be invited to be a part of their weekend.

Saturday afternoon, just after 3pm, I arrived at Claudia's place just moments after her and her mom. They had made a trip to the store to buy something to wrap a "Valentines" gift that Claudia had make for me. Once inside I was introduced to Mom and then I was told that I needed to stay out of the bedroom while Claudia wrapped the gift she made me. You see I knew ahead of time that she had made me a gift because she was so excited about making it that she couldn't keep it a total secret.

Moments later she ran out of the bedroom with a thin and square silver package. I must admit that I was very curious to see what she had made me for Valentines that took her over five hours to complete. I actually had an idea of what it could be due to her asking for a CD of my photos earlier that week. I figured she had one of my photos printed and put into a frame, but boy was I wrong. She took that idea several steps forward. She had 50 of my photos printed and she put them into a photo album. Oh, and not in a photo album with the crappy static pages. She bought an album with clear inserts. It came with white pages in the inserts but she chose to replace the white pages with black, which is best for displaying photos, and created hand made white tabs to hold the photos on the page. Her gift for me is an awesome gift. Most of the photos I had never seen as prints because it is more cost effective to look at them on the computer, but I caught myself thinking, "Oooh that photo looks even better as a large print."

After opening the gift Claudia, her mom, and I sat on the sofa and chatted for a while. As we started to get hungry her mom went into the kitchen to make cheese enchiladas from scratch. Claudia said that she can now cook them just like her mom, which is awesome because her mom's cheese enchiladas were delicious. Following dinner the three of us watch the movie "I Am Sam". Claudia and I had watched it together the weekend before. It was her first time to see the movie and she loved it so much that she wanted her mom to see it to. I too am a big fan of the movie. I've seen it over 10 times now. More conversation superseded the movie. I kept trying to get Claudia's mom to tell me embarrassing stories from Claudia's childhood, but Claudia wasn't having any of that and for the most part successfully stopped her mom from making her blush. I'm happy to say that I did hear a couple of funny stories.

Due to the bad weather Claudia and her mom decided earlier that afternoon that I should spend the night on the sofa, but when it came time for bed Claudia's mom came up with an even better idea and dug an air mattress from the closet. Shortly after blowing up my bed and covering it with blankets Claudia's mom went to bed. Claudia and I proceeded to stay up until 4am talking, making play list on her computer, and sharing our affection for one another. Instead sharing a king size bed with her mom Claudia decided she wanted to share the twin sized air mattress with me. I didn't mind that so much, but it turns out her mom wasn't a big fan of the idea. I felt bad for making Mom mad and while Mom was making breakfast I sent Claudia into the kitchen to hug and kiss her mom until mom couldn't be mad anymore. It must have worked because my portion of breakfast didn't kill me. It, much like dinner, was delicious.

Sunday morning and early afternoon were lazy times. We sat around talking and playing music for a good while. But neither I nor Mom could let the day waste away and we both did some work around Claudia's apartment. Mom did some cleaning and I make a few repairs. Around 2pm we all went to Chili's to eat lunch. While we were waiting on our food Claudia tricked me into taking a small physiological quiz. She called it a "game". After I played the "game" she proceeded to tell me that she sometimes uses the "game" during interviews of potential new associates at her job. Luckily I passed the test.

Shortly after 4pm the three of us went to my church together. Well, kind of together, for logistical reasons we road in two separate cars. I drove by myself and they shared a ride together. I thought it was very cool that Claudia's mom was willing to go to my Church. Right after church I had to say goodbye to Claudia and her mom because Claudia had to pack for a business trip that she was to leave for the next day. That and I wanted her to spend some more time with her mom. I love spending time with Claudia and she with me, but I felt that desire was taking away from necessary one on one time between her and her mom. I'm happy to report that Mom approves of me. My next quest is to win over Clauida's friends who are still a bit skeptical about me. But, I hear that they have been poking around my blog and myspace account and have liked what they have seen thus far.

Lately

2008-02-12T12:23:00.000-06:00

This is a picture of what I've been doing a lot of lately; spending time with my new, and best ever, girl friend. Here name is Claudia and I met her online. A website called faithbase.com to be exact. In years past I had tried the whole online dating thing with little success. I even became a bit cynical about it. After going out with 15 different women over a two year period, 2003-2004, and never making it to a third date, I decided to call that game over. But, time has a way of softening our feelings about things sometimes.

In November of 2007 I noticed an advertisement on myspace for a site called faithbase.com. It advertised being able to meet people of similar faith without paying a membership fee. A big part of what I didn't like about online dating was the membership fee that dating sites charged. I also noticed that the site didn't use sex to market itself, and it made a point to display photos of groups instead of only couples. After creating a profile, which is set up much like myspace, I was ready to go. I also noticed that it provided me with two profiles. One was for dating and the other was for other uses, much like a myspace page.

I contacted a few women and few women contacted me, some of them where from other states, like Ohio. I conversed with four or five locally and three from other states for a short period of time. The ones in other states were just being friendly and seemed to simply want someone to talk to. Two of the local women seemed interested in continuing our conversations outside of email, but one responded much faster and more often than the other and our relations quickly moved from email to telephone and then from telephone to in person. After two good dates but no chemistry she took the initiative and joined the witness protection program. So I moved my focus to woman number two, Claudia. After several emails, and a few of which involved me asking her to have coffee/tea or ice cream with me, she told me that she was a cautious person when it came to meeting people from the internet and she would give me a call if I gave her my number. After talking to her a couple of times on the phone she shared her phone number with me, which she had blocked the first few times she called me.

After nearly a month of telephone conversations she told me she was comfortable with meeting me in person, and during that same telephone conversation we set up a date for later that evening. We chose to meet each other at a Red Lobster. This slightly goes against the internet dating rules. Normally for the first date you meet over drinks or coffee, something that you can easily be excused from if things are going nowhere fast. I was okay with having dinner since we had been emailing and talking on the telephone for nearly two months already.

Our first date went really well. To this point it was the best first date I've ever had. After a 2 hour dinner we left and went to the Flying Saucer in downtown Fort Worth and closed the place down. Since that weekend, the weekend of January 19th, we have spent every weekend together, four in all. We both agree that we feel oddly comfortable around one another and have moved our relationship faster than either of us would normally allow. We have a lot of chemistry and have developed quite a bit of intimacy while getting to know each other over the past three months. I'm even going to meet her mom when she comes to visit this coming weekend. So far I've past every "test" she has given me, and I'm pretty confident I can pass this one too. With that said this story will have to be continued at a later, undetermined, time.

Increased In Value?

2008-02-01T12:24:00.000-06:00

i'm not big on buying designer jean. they cost too much and i don't care if i'm wearing the latest fashion. i typically buy Levi 569 Jeans for $30 - $40. i have a pair of Levi Jeans that i've had for three or four years and a couple of weeks ago they started to develop a hole in the left leg. two days ago the small hole turned into a large hole while i was kneeling down to poke at the fire in my fire place.

does this new found wear mean that my jeans have increased in value? are they now worth as much as this pair of Lucky Jeans?

you know, i find it humorous that jeans tend to cost more as the number of holes in them increases. why is this, i wonder? the even bigger question is why do people pay hundreds of dollars on a pair of jeans with holes in them when they could have purchased a pair for $30 to $50 and put the holes in themselves. i could go and buy a pair of $200 jeans full of holes and not be able to give them to charity because of the exact same holes that made them cost so much. is that not just crazy?

Anonymous Giving

2008-01-02T15:19:00.000-06:00

during the holiday season i was able to participate two events of anonymous giving.

no 1.
along with several members of my church community i help cook dinner for and worship with another church, for the mentally ill, once a month. the members of this church tend to live in some crappy housing and for the most part have very little money. our church and a couple of other churches adopted a combined total of 127 members of this church for Christmas. each of the members filled out a red card that listed some items that they would like for Christmas. i chose a card for an man that is 55 years old. he requested some cologne, jeans, & shoes. i honored his request and tossed in a belt and a pair of shirts too. the man i adopted doesn't know that i adopted him, and i like it that way. he might want to know who did because i had another man asking who adopted him because he wanted to thank them for their generosity. if i was in their shoes i think i would want to know who bought me gifts, but i'm not in their shoes. i'm in my shoes and i get a lot of joy out of giving to people anonymously. as unselfish as anonymous gift giving can be i must say that there is a part of me that does it out of selfishness. it feels good to make others happy and part of my desire to help others is to feel good. i believe the root of sin is selfishness, but not all selfishness begets sin. i also believe that the biggest blessing one can receive is the blessing from blessing others.

no 2.
i have a friend who relies on a small monthly check from the government to support himself. shortly after cashing his check that he received on the 3rd of december he lost his wallet and his entire check for the month. i've helped this friend financially many times in the past, but this time i didn't have the funds to help him overcome his dilemma. fortunately a couple of other people where able to help him with getting food and paying a couple of important bills. despite the loss of his money he was more concerned about how he was going to get a Christmas present for his nephew than how he was going to pay his bills. he asked me if i would ask my friends, some of which he knows, if they would help come up with $100 to buy his nephew a gift card to American Eagle. i was more than happy to do this because i've met his nephew a few times and he is a good kid, 14 years old, who doesn't have much at all. he doesn't even have a bedroom. he has to sleeps on a bed in the living room of the rundown house he, his mom, and her boyfriend live in. his couldn't afford to get him a present for Christmas and she asked me if i knew of someone who could spare a computer because her son really wanted a computer. fortunate for her my boss had given me an older Apple eMac a few months ago and i had been holding on to it for just a circumstance. back to the gift card. i emailed several of my friends and a few of them responded saying that they could help raise money for the gift card. a week went buy and i had raised $60 towards the gift card and had accepted the fact that i had only been able to come up with $60. then a friend sent me an email asking me if he could send me money via paypal. he proceeded to send $50 without me even telling him that i was $40 short of my $100 goal. i give God 100% credit for that. because of the anonymous generousity of others a deserving 14 year old by recieved a $110 gift card and a computer for Christmas.

Bird's Eye View

2007-11-13T14:59:00.000-06:00

last night i was given the task, which i considered more of a privilege, to go up to the 61st floor of the new Comerica Bank building in downtown Dallas and be the back-up to the man who was in charge of turning on Comerica Bank's signs for the first time. it was to be a production that involved a speech and pushing a button from another building that would cause the signs to light up. The button didn't really light up the signs, but it was our job to make it look that way. the man who was responsible for turning on the signs showed up so my assistance wasn't needed. in a sense i was paid to do something that on any other day i would have paid to do. as an amateur photographer i would have paid to be on the roof of one of the tallest buildings in downtown Dallas. luckily i didn't have to pay a cent or commit a crime to do it.

in august i was able to sneak on top of a 50 story hotel in downtown Atlanta, but i can tell you that i would not have been able to do the same thing in this building. one of the many security measures that keep you in check is you must to call the security desk via an intercom to have the door to the roof opened. not to mention the many surveillance cameras that monitored me on my way up. to gain access to the roof of this building i had to know someone who knew someone. most of the time i find that life tends to work that way. in general it isn't what you know, but who you know, and at times who they know, that gets you into a particular place or position.

if you would like to see some of the photos i captured feel free to visit my photo blog by clicking on the link located on the right side of this page.

I Didn't Know I Was So Dependent...

2007-10-08T15:28:00.000-05:00

i didn't know i was so dependent upon a cell phone. i've thought to myself many times that i could live without a cell phone. i did it for the first 21 years of my life. i still believe i could do without a cell phone, but this past friday i was made aware of how cell phone dependent i'd become.

my friend adam asked me to meet him at the state fair after i got off work on friday. i left work at 3:30pm, 30 minutes early than normal, and headed for the fair. i flipped open my cell phone to tell adam that i'd left work, but my phone kept loosing its signal and wouldn't complete a call. i figured tower in the area was either down or being serviced and i kept driving towards the fair with the assumption that my phone would start working as i got closer to the fair which was over 25 miles away from my place of work.

i get to the fair and my phone still doesn't work. it is nearly 4:20 and i couldn't imagine the network being down very much longer. with this assumption in mind i paid $10 for parking and $14 for my fair ticket and proceeded onto the fair grounds ready to find adam and his girl friend lauren. an hour and a half went by before i quit trying to reach adam. i tried everything i could think of. i borrowed cell phones from people working the information booth. i put quarters into a pay phone only to hear a message that the phone had been taken out of service six months ago. i spent the next hour and a half doing my best to enjoy the fair by my self. it was a better option than leaving. heck, it cost me $24 dollars to get into the fair and if i left i would have been jumping into the middle of rush hour traffic.

after looking at cars, eating a sausage on a bun and fried cookie dough, and washing it all down with a root beer and lemonade, i was able to use my phone again. once more i was plugged into the world around me. no longer feeling lost and alone. i ended up getting a hold adam, who had left the fair around 5:00 because he couldn't call me on his cell phone, and we met up at my apartment for an hour before he finally decided it was time for he and lauren to drive back home.

i didn't even plan on going to the fair this year, and i think i would have been better off keeping it that way.

My First Time In Court

2007-09-26T10:49:00.000-05:00

monday was the first time i've ever been to court. i was scheduled to be in court at 9am. i showed up 20 minutes early, but to my surprise there was a line outside of the courtroom. i was the 11th person in line and shortly after i arrived the line grew another 8 to 10 behind me. around 9am an officer opened a door to the court room and proceeded to announce the rules for entering the courtroom. after he announced the rules i had to step out of line and go back to my car. my key chain swiss army tool comes in handy quite often, but at times it can be an inconvenience, as it was that day.

upon re-entering the building the folks that were behind me in line were kind enough to let me reclaim my place in line. one at a time we placed our belongings into a basket and proceeded through the metal detector. i put my wallet, keys, memory stick, and belt buckle in the basket. still i set off the metal detector. i took off my belt, patted my pockets, and walked through it again. once more i set of the alarm. the officer wasn't having any of this so he made me spread my legs and arms and waved his wand around me a couple of times. then in a puzzled tone he told me that he didn't know why the machine didn't like me and gave me my belongings and an orange sheet of paper that had been laminated. i walked into the courtroom, checked in with the clerk, and sat down in a chair on the front row of chairs that the audience of a trial would sit in.

after 10 minutes or so the bailiff told us to rise and announced the entrance of the judge. the judge proceeded to tell us to silence all electrical devices, and informed us that if he heard one go off in the courtroom he would find the owner of the device in contempt of court and fine them $100. next he dictated our options in regards to our traffic tickets. the first option was to plead no contest, pay $103 for court cost, and take defensive driving. after the completion of the course the violation would be removed from our record. option two was deferred adjudication. this meant we could plead no contest, pay the full amount of our fine, and if we made it 180 days without another traffic violation our current violation would be removed from our record. the third and final option was to choose to plead not guilty and either have a trial by judge or jury at a later date.

after our options were given to us, we were called one at a time to either speak with the prosecutor and then the judge, or only the judge. if the judge felt that the case was simple and could be handled quickly he would call the defendant straight to the bench, but if he felt a need for the defendant to speak with the prosecutor prior to speaking with him the prosecutor would call the defendants name to her desk. after twenty minutes or so i was called to the prosecutor’s desk. she stated some facts about the case and i confirmed them. then she told me how she interpreted the evidence in her file and gave me the option of to pay my initial fine of $268 and go through deferred adjudication. i didn't like this option. i wanted to take the defensive driving option, but because my ticket had turned into a warrant i didn't qualify for this. i disputed her evidence with evidence of my own, and after a short disagreement she told me that i could speak with the judge. i walked back to me seat and waited only a couple of minutes before the judge called me to the bench.

upon approaching the bench the judge asked me what i wanted to do. i told him that i want to take the defensive driving option. he restated the facts that the prosecutor presented to me and then i presented my case. my case was that i never received my ticket in the mail or the letter letting me know that i missed my initial court date because my address on the ticket was wrong. it was a composition of my new and old address. while presenting my case the prosecutor walked up to the bench and stated that i had changed my address after the ticket was issued and i quickly, but politely, corrected her by showing proof that i had changed my address prior to the accident and the state had issued an new ID for me twelve days before my ticket was issued. the judge looked at my evidence and he was as confused as i as to how my address was only halfway incorrect on my ticket. with my address being updated prior to the accident the officer should have been given the correct address by dispatch even if the ID i presented wasn't my the new one with the updated address. after a few moments the judge told me that i could take the defensive driving course and pay $103 to the court, and in two weeks my $343 bond would be sent back to me in the mail. this was a good thing for me because $103 court cost + $12 copy of my driving record + $30 defensive driving course comes to a total of $145, and that is $198 less than my ticket + late fees and $123 less than the ticket alone.

Tossing Out Apple Cores

2007-09-18T14:15:00.000-05:00

it bugs me when people throw trash out their car window. i want to stop, pick it up, catch back up to them, and dump it in their lap. with that said, i throw the core of my eaten apples out my car window and into the grass.

am i a hypocrite? it is 100% natural and extremely biodegradable. i refuse to throw man made materials out my car window, but i don't have a problem with throwing fruit out my window. as long as i'm throwing it into the grass. i'd rather throw my apple core into the grass or behind a bush than throw it into a garbage bag with a final stop of the landfill. if the apple core makes it's way to the landfill it cannot benefit nature. under a bush or in the grass it becomes food for insects and/or fertilizer for the nearby plants.

am i a hypocrite? maybe i am, but i have my standards and a method to my madness.

Warrant For My Arrest

2007-09-10T09:12:00.000-05:00

yesterday, sunday, i received a phone call in which i was informed that a warrant had been issued for my arrest for an unpaid traffic ticket issued on june 20th, the day of my traffic accident. i told the polite man on the other end of the phone that i had never been given a ticket. all he could tell me was that i would have to talk to the court about my warrant.

this morning i woke up and instead of working out i got ready to visit the municipal court. on a side note, that has nothing to do with my warrant, it was raining very hard this morning. so hard that it was difficult for me to find the court house. after making it into the court house and only slightly dampened by the rain, thanks to my oversized golf umbrella, i walked down a hallway until i found the clerk of court's office. i was third in line and only had to wait a few minute before it was my turn to speak with the clerk.

after the person in front of me left the clerks window the clerk waived at me to let me know that she was ready to handle my business for the day. i sat down in the chair across from the clerk and leaned over so that she could better hear what i had to say. you see, we were separated by a thick piece of glass that stretched from the ceiling to the top of the counter and there was only a small opening at the bottom of the glass to allow for the passing of paper any conversation that may need to be had. i told the clerk that i had come to talk about my warrant. she asked for my license and proceeded to look up my information. she confirmed that there indeed was a warrant out for my arrest for an unpaid ticket. i told her that i was never given a ticket. she then told me that a letter was sent to me on july 9th. i responded by telling her that i never received the letter. i'm sure she had heard this story before. more often a lie than the truth. without dismissing herself she got up and walked away. a few minutes later she came back with a folder that contained information pertaining to my ticket. inside the folder was a letter that had been returned to the court with a sticker stating that it was undeliverable.

i had changed my address a few weeks before my accident. it was even issued on june 8th. twelve days before my accident. at the scene of my accident i had given the officer my current address. somehow it was mixed up in the shuffling of paperwork because the letter had my new address, but my old apartment number. the clerk proceeded to tell me that i owed $265 dollars, but then quickly corrected herself and told me the amount was $343, and then asked me if i wanted to pay my ticket or post bond and scheduled a court appearance. both of which cost $343.

i might have made a moving violation when i made an unsafe left turn on a solid green light, which caused my accident, but it is not my fault i was never given a ticket by the officer or that i never received a letter about my unpaid ticket. i wasn't rushed away from the accident in an ambulance. so the officer had a chance to give me a ticket. i even stood around with the officer and a group of firemen while i waited for another officer to come and take me home because the one on scene was riding a motorcycle. then for the court to send a reminder to the wrong address after i provided the correct one to the police officer. of course i scheduled a court appearance to dispute my fine, and at the very least the $78 in late fees that have been added to it.

despite being milked for $343 this morning i'm still in a pleasant mood. now i need for my brother and my friend john to pay me back the money they owe me so that i can feel a little less broke.

Loaning Money To A Man In Ecuador

2007-09-05T13:39:00.001-05:00

a few times of the past year, and a couple of time recently on TV, i've heard about kiva.org. here is a description of kiva from its very own website.

Kiva lets you connect with and loan money to unique small businesses in the developing world. By choosing a business on Kiva.org, you can "sponsor a business" and help the world's working poor make great strides towards economic independence. Throughout the course of the loan (usually 6-12 months), you can receive email journal updates from the business you've sponsored. As loans are repaid, you get your loan money back.

today i decided to join kiva and loan $25 to a man in ecuador. his name is edmundo cantos. edmundo is 41. he has two children who attend school. his house is of mixed construction styles, and his family life is stable. his goal is to advance his business to ensure that his children get a good education. edmundo and his wife run a shoemaking business, and currently they manufacture only sandals. they have had this business for two years, and they have dedicated a part of their home to the business. edmundo needed $650 to to buy raw materials so as to increase the amount of goods he can merchandise. also, he plans to use part of the loan to fix up his workshop that is in need of repairs. after reading edmundo's profile and seeing his photo, i was sold. i click a few buttons and $25 was on its way to edmundo. it felt like a bonus to know that my $25 was the final $25 edmundo needed to reach his loan goal of $650. on top of that he plans on repaying the loan within a six month period. which means my $25 will be ready to be lent to another person in less than a year.

kiva loans have a 99.7% repayment rate (much higher than my former roomates). so i'm quite confident the money will make its way back into my kiva account. i plan on adding more money to my kiva account later this month so that i can give other families a loan that will help them achieve their business goals and better their quality of life. this really is an awesome concept and invite you to join me in this crusade to better this world we live in.

Potentially Stranded

2007-09-04T10:32:00.000-05:00

this past weekend i decided to take advantage of the three day weekend and make the two hour drive to visit my family, as well as meet with a couple of potential clients. little did i know this would be a weekend in which i would become potentially stranded.

part 1: my briefcase

about 20 minutes after leaving my apartment i realized i left my briefcase at home. the thought of going back home to get it wasn't very appetizing since it would be nearly 45 minutes before i would get back to the point i had just reached. i new i could print the necessary forms from the web so i decided to keep driving.

part 2: my wallet

i arrive in burkburnett and call my friend daniel to see what he is doing. he tells me he is playing poker at his aunt's house with some family members that where visiting from out of town and invited me over to join them. i headed over there and watch them finish out their poker game. with the prospect of another game i checked my pockets for my wallet, but it wasn't there. i figured i left it in my car and would get it later. while taking a break daniel asked me if i saw his motorcycle in the driveway. after responding with a yes he asked me if i wanted to ride it. i told him i would love to, but i've never ridden a motorcycle before. he told me that was okay because he would be happy to teach me. i thought to myself, "sweet! i get to ride a motorcycle." his aunt lives in a cul-de-sac which kept me from dealing with traffic. never-the-less i was a bit timid. i'd never ridden a 500 lb bike without pedals before. i didn't get to adventurous with the bike. all i did was ride in circles in first gear. i wasn't ready to take a risk with someone else's ride. after riding daniel's bike we went inside to see if anyone wanted to play another game of poker. most everyone didn't want to play so we all simply sat around and talked while dinner cooked in the oven. it just so happened to be hailey's birthday party that day, hailey is daniel's niece and the daughter of my good friend traci. they invited me to stay and celebrate it with them and i was more than happy to stay because on of my favorite foods ever, lasagna, was on the menu.

after eating dinner with daniel and his family i went to pick up my dad to go play pool at a local bar. on the way to the bar i noticed that my wallet wasn't in my car or in my suitcase. i gave my brother a call back at my apartment and asked him to go into my bedroom and look in the front pocket of my briefcase, which i chose not to go back for, for my wallet. he confirmed it was there. my dad was happy to pay for our pool table and drinks, but i was a bit frustrated with the fact that i didn't have my wallet and the banks would be closed monday for the holiday. after leaving the bar i realized that i wouldn't have enough gas to make it back to my apartment because i didn't fill up my car before leaving town. after pointing this out to my dad he told me he would fill up my car for me on the way home.

part 3: my keys

on sunday morning, after breakfast, i walked out to my car to do a little organizing of stuff in the trunk of my car. i folded a couple of towels that i keep in my trunk for the days that i leave my softball games all dirty and sweaty. i moved my tool box back to the back of the trunk, after it apparently had shifted out of place while driving, i grabbed a couple of really cool duck tape bandages that i wanted to show my dad, and took some trash to throw away. right after shutting my trunk i stood their for a moment staring at it with one hand holding two styrofoam cups and a plastic rapper, and the other holding three duck tape bandages. notice i didn't mention my keys. at this point i was in denial.

as started walking back towards the house all the while telling myself, "you did not just lock your keys in your trunk." my dad was washing dishes and watching me the entire time i was out playing in my trunk. after i threw away my trash he asked me if i had found a new way to do laundry because i was folding towels in my trunk. i told him no, and with a smirk on my face i asked him the question, "guess what i did?" his answer, "you didn't." for he knew what i was talking about. i indeed locked my keys in my trunk. at this point i wasn't sure if my car doors where unlocked, but i couldn't remember unlocking them to get into my trunk. i walked outside with my dad close behind me and attempted to open my driver's side door, and then my rear passenger door. both were locked. all i could do was laugh. it was a holiday weekend, i didn't have my wallet or any money, and i'd locked my keys in the trunk of my car. in a sense i was stranded. if it wasn't for my dad i would have been.

my dad called a guy that he knew that owned a wrecker service and 5 hours later he came to unlock my car, and once again my dad was gracious enough to help me and paid the man for his services. the next day daniel called me and asked if i wanted to meet him for lunch at chili's. i told him yes and proceeded to do something for the first time in my life. i walked over to my grandpa sitting in his chair and asked him if i could have $10. all my life my grand parents have given me money every now and again knowing that i could use a little extra help. mostly during those years i was in school, but i'd never asked them for it. now at an age in which i really don't need there assistance i had to asked them for money. this really didn't bother me too much. heck, it was only $10, but i did fine the situation a bit ironic.

now i'm back home and i've already put a check in the mail payable to my dad for all the help he gave me over the weekend. he didn't ask me to send him any money. i know he was happy to be able to be there for me in my time of need and i'm grateful he was, but i feel obligated to pay him back because i'm a grown man and he taught me how to take care of myself. i feel it would be disrespectful for me not to pay him back.

554 Feet High (Post #300)

2007-08-13T12:10:00.000-05:00

not this past week, but the week before that i was in atlanta, ga for a convention. i stayed in the atlanta marriott marquis. it is a hotel with 47 floors and an atrium that extends from the ground to the 47th floor. i wanted a photo of the view from the 47th floor. around midnight one night i and a friend got on an elevator on the 18th floor and rode to the highest number that elevator would take us, the 41st floor. it was there that i got a photo of what i wanted.

shortly after taking the photo i decided that i wasn't happy with the 41st floor. i wanted my photo from the 47th floor. that was what i intended to do when i first set out on this adventure. the plan at that moment was to ride the elevator down to the 10 floor because all elevators go to that floor. the 10th floor is where they put the gym. on our way to the elevator on the 41st floor we noticed that the door to the freight elevators was opened. it was at this time that we realized that the freight elevators go to every floor. so we hopped on one and rode to the 47th floor.

upon stepping out of the elevator we noticed a hatch in the ceiling that was open and ladder attached to the wall that led up to it. the two of us looked at each other with a grin and the same idea in our heads. we're going up! we climbed up and through the hatch. all while being as quite as we could. for we didn't know if anyone was up there? the room we had climbed into was full of generators. six of them if i remember right. not only where there generators in this room, but there was a spiraling staircase leading up to another level. first we peaked up the staircase to once again make sure we where alone, and then we proceeded upward to the next level. this level had what resembled the old football lockers at my high school, but instead of being black they were a pale green color. on each side of the room there was a door.

i walked up to the one on the right and started to turn the handle. as i did i noticed that it had a sensor that would let somebody know that the door had been opened. so i slowly turned the handle back to the locked position. next i walked over to the other door. when i looked up to see if it had a sensor i noticed that the wires had been pulled out of it. SCORE! i opened the door and we were outside, but in a cramped corridor that had a ladder attached to the wall. after a quick look up the ladder, up we went. VICTORY! we were on top of the highest part of the roof of our hotel. 554 feet in the air according to wikipedia.

when you first step up onto the top of the roof you notice how windy it is. the wind must have been blowing 15-20 mph. we walked around the (approx.) 30ft x 30ft portion of the roof in awe. of the view, and in awe of just how awesome it was to be up so high. after a couple of minutes i turned on my camera, set the timer so that i could minimize the motion of it because i knew i would need a long exposure for the lack of light. the pictures below do not do the experience justice, but i hope you enjoy the view, never-the-less.

Song For a Co-Worker's Husband

2007-07-24T15:19:00.000-05:00

i work with a woman who told me about a bad day that her husband had recently. after she told me about it i said that it could be a country song. with that running through my head for a day i decided i would write a song about her story. i changed the facts up a bit to help the song flow more smoothly.

I’ve Seen Better Days

Today, I can say I’ve seen better days

I came home to an open back gate
My boxer off and left me
I sure hope he don’t forget me

Today, I can say I’ve seen better days

As I shuffled through the door
I saw indentions on the floor
Where my favorite coffee table once stood
I asked my wife where it went
She told me she sold it to pay the rent.

Today, I can say I’ve seen better days

As I laid down on my bed
A bad thought entered my head
Tomorrow I have to take my truck to the shop
Last week someone hit it
And ran off before I could see who did it.

Today, I can say I’ve seen better days
Lord knows that I’ve seen better days

Helping Others Via The World Wide Web

2007-07-23T11:19:00.000-05:00

on july 12th i was sitting at my desk, bored, at work and i was looking around the yahoo homepage. i noticed a link at the top right that read "answers". i found this intriguing and decided to click on the link. this took me to a site that allows registered users to post questions on a bulletin board-like page to be answered by other registered users. users get 2 points for answering a question and 10 more points if their answer is chosen as the best answer to the question. i've been a registered user for eleven days and i have answered 219 questions. 13 of which have been chosen as a best answer. there are other ways to gain points on the site as well as loose them. at certain point totals you get promoted to higher levels that allow you to answer more question each day as well as rate the answers of others. to date i have 705 points and i'm 295 points from the next level, level 3. your points don't allow you to buy anything and the person with the most points doesn't earn a prize. the point system simply allows users to see the level of participation of other users, and can give you a reason to brag to your friends.

i really like answering the questions of others. it feels good to be able to help someone in need and i think this is a really cool venue for helping others. there are many stupid questions that get posted each the day. there seem to be a lot of users that do not take the site seriously, but there are people that do and post legit questions. if you like helping people, and have the patients to sift through some of the stupid question, i invite you to join the site.

to join go to http://answers.yahoo.com

The Beatie Boys Have Become Mutes

2007-07-03T09:47:00.000-05:00

this morning i was browsing yahoos website as i do most morning. one of the main links was to the new beastie boys video from their new album "the mix-up". their new album is a fully instrumental album and according to the short review i read it is their second consecutive fully instrumental album. i must say it was weird to watch a beastie boys video in which not a word was spoken. i give the boys props for taking a leap and producing a completely different genre of music. To go from a genre that is based largely on lyrics alone, rap, to one without lyrics at all is quite a change. despite giving them kudos, i must say it is still weird to see a music video without a single word spoken, rapped, or sung.

My First Comedy Club

2007-07-02T10:19:00.001-05:00

on saturday i took amelia, the woman i've dated for six weeks now, to the "4 day weekend" comedy club in downtown fort worth. i'd never been to a comedy club before. my only experiences with comedy are what i've seen on tv.

at "4 day weekend" the do improvisational comedy. when you walk into the theatre you notice a screen onstage that has instructions projected onto it. it tells the audience to use the post-it notes and note cards on the table by the door to help them with their show. on the post-it notes you write a noun on the sticky side of the post-it and stick it on a board handing on the wall. on a note card you are to write a phrase (preferably not any from movies or tv shows) and you place it into a container.

throughout the show they choose post-its and note cards at random and create a skits around them. the comedians are quite witty and do an excellent job developing material on the spot. at times they even use audience members or information about audience members to develop a skit. it adds the element of an inside joke to the show, which was awesome. i have to recommend going if you've never been. i know i plan on going back. the laughs are well worth the $20 ticket.

Short Lived Truck

2007-06-21T13:05:00.000-05:00

yesterday, june 2oth, i was driving around to different auto repair shops to get quote on what it would cost to convert the a/c in my truck to the new 134a coolant. it was around 6:15 in the evening. i was sitting in the left turn lane facing south on business 121 just north of I35. my light turned green and i proceeded to make a u-turn to go north on business 121. as i'm entering the far right lane i'm looking at a tow truck that is coming up to a yielding turn, to make sure he was going to yield to me.

the next thing i know..."CRASH", my eyes shut out of reflex. i can feel the right side of my truck land back onto the ground, i quickly open to see my truck rolling into the grass on the side of the road. i put my truck in park, turned off the engine, removed my keys, took a quick look around, and then got out of my truck. i began to walk towards a man stumbling towards me and away from his late 80's model camaro.

as i walk towards him i yell out, "are you okay....are you okay?" at that moment a witness to the accident comes jogging up to us and tells the man to sit down on the ground. as he layed down in the grass i reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and dialed 911. after describing the accident and our location the operator told me a police officer and ambulance were on their way. when i hung up the phone i noticed two more witnesses where standing near by. they asked if i was okay and i replied, "yes, as far as i know."

the man that was driving the camaro couldn't speak english, but one of the witnesses was beside him who also spoke spanish. shortly after i made the call a firetruck, ambulance, and police officer showed up to the scene. they immediately started checking on the man laying on the ground. while doing so a fire fighter asked who else was in the accident and i told him i was. he asked if i was okay, and i told him my hip was a bit sore, but that was it. he asked if i wanted to go to the hospital and i declined the ambulance ride, but told them i would go later in the evening.

looking at my truck with the officer on the scene was surreal. the whole event was surreal. i never saw the camaro coming, and obviously he didn't see me slowly making a u-turn in a 20 feet long truck. my windows where rolled down so my head didn't slam against my driver's side window, and there wasn't any glass that could come flying towards me from the passenger side. after a police officer took me for a 3/4 mile drive home, i got into my car and drove to the local hospital. amazingly i was in and out in less than 1/2 an hour. as far as i know all i have are some bruises on my hips from my seat belt. despite the loss of my truck, i'm simply glad to be alive and for the most part unharmed. thanks be to God.

I Got My Truck Back

2007-06-10T14:49:00.000-05:00

august 8, 2002 is a date that will live in my mind for a long time. just before midnight a neighbor of mine came to my door, woke me up, and told me that my 1992 chevy truck had just been stolen. my first truck, my favorite truck, and a truck i might have been a bit too attached to. i didn't care that it was ten years old and it had over 160k miles on it. i kept it in immaculate condition. it was my baby. i made my final loan payment on it in may of 2002, and i spent $1500 dollars the week before it was stolen on new tires and a whole new break system. my plan was to keep this truck for a long time, but in an instant all that changed. my truck was found 28 days after it was stolen. a sheriff in gun barrel city, tx found it on a back country road. well, what was left of it. all he found was a frame and an empty cab on blocks.

i replaced my stolen truck with a 1999 chevy truck. it was nice, but it came with new monthly payment and it just didn't feel right. after owning it just over a year it needed a $1000 repair. instead of financing the repair i decided to finance a new truck. so i bought a 2003 gmc truck.

this was a very nice truck. it had a smooth ride and extra features such as duel climate control, but it came with an even bigger monthly commitment. shortly after buying the new truck gas prices shot up from $1.30 per gallon to nearly $2.00. making a tank of gas go from $30 to over $50. six months later, out of necessity, i traded it in for a fuel efficient toyota corolla. i've owned my corolla for over 3 years now. it has been good to me and my pocket book, but it isn't and never will be a car i cherish like i did my first truck.

my grandpa has been sick with parkinson's disease for a couple of years now. last year the doctors told him that he was no longer allowed to drive because they felt his reaction time had become to slow, not to mention he might accidentally jerk the wheel and cause an accident. for nearly a year his truck has sat still under his barn. a few months ago he came to the realization that he really wouldn't be able to drive again and decided he would sell his truck, a 1992 chevy truck that is much like the one that was stolen from me.

i had previously told my dad that if the opportunity came up i would love to buy my grandpa's truck from him, but i couldn't tell my grandpa this because i didn't want him to feel like i was trying to take his freedom away from him. his freedom that i had watch him fight hard to retain. i didn't know my dad had told my grandpa how i felt until my grandpa approached me about it. he said, "i hear someone wants to buy my truck." i nervously responded by saying, "who told you that?" his answer...."a little bird."

at the time i didn't have the money to buy the truck and it would have been a while before i could have saved enough money for it. at the time i would have had to of told him to sell it to someone else because i just didn't have the money. just a few weeks after having that conversation with my grandpa my mom died. which resulted in my getting a few thousand dollars in life insurance money from my step-dad. with that money i paid off my car, gave some money to the church, and a loan to a friend. i was left with not quite enough money to buy the truck, but without a hefty car payment i decided i would take out a small loan and buy the truck from my grandpa. i must say that it feels good to have a 1992 chevy truck again. just sitting in it brings back good memories and a wonderful feeling. it feels like a part of me has come home. if someone came up to me right now and offered to trade a brand new truck for mine i would turn them away. i'm not getting rid of my truck. the truck that replaces my stolen truck that i so cherished; the truck that belonged to my grandpa; the truck that i was only able to buy because of my mom's death. as far as i'm concerned i'll have to die before someone takes this truck from me, legally that is.

It Has Been A While

2007-05-22T16:00:00.000-05:00

it has been a while since i dated anyone. to be more specific it has been 15 months. i've gone on dates in the last 15 months, but i haven't officially dated anyone. now that i've said that, this all may change. i met a woman last tuesday at the bank while making a deposit. this woman i speak of was my teller. of course the first thing i noticed was that she is pretty. soon we started talking about working for the bank since my account stills says i'm an employee of the bank, which i haven't worked for since jan 31, 2006. never-the-less this is no mistake on the banks part. part of my severance package was that my employee benefits last for a good while. back to the story. after she finished my deposit we said our goodbyes and i was on my way.

the very next day i go to the bank again to get a cashier's check. two visits inside the bank in a month is rare for me, much less back to back days, but the ATM won't give me a cashier's check. so i had no choice. to my surprise, and as i hoped, i was called to the counter by the same teller, and proceed to pick up where i left off the day before, flirting. getting a cashier's check can be a lengthy transaction so i had plenty of time to chat. while chatting i pulled out a business card and wrote my email address on the back. at this point my hands are starting to sweat and my heart is beating faster for because my brain has told them what i'm about to do. after she handed me my check i handed her my card and told her to call me or email me if she wanted to her anymore stories about my experiences while working at the bank.

i honestly didn't expect her to email me anytime soon, if at all. i try not to get my hopes up if at all possible. surprisingly that night she sent me an email. then she replied to my reply by sending me here number. what do i do? i call it of course. we ended up setting up a date for the coming weekend. a date in which i took her to dave and buster's. we had a lot of fun that night playing video games, basketball, ski-ball, and shuffle board.

during one of our conversations i told her that me being so bold as to give a woman my card and asking her to give me or call or shoot me an email was not something i do very often at all. at which point she tells me that keep such a card isn't something that she normally does either. stepping outside of your comfort zone can be scary, but it is also when you reap the biggest rewards.

Hidden Money

2007-05-22T15:26:00.000-05:00

today i found what i'm going to call hidden money. it wasn't in my sofa, the pocket of a pair of pants, in my car, or under my mattress. it was in an envelope and in the form of a check. today while looking through a pile of bills that i hardly ever open, due to online bill pay, i discovered a check from allstate for $46 and some change. the check was dated 11/06/2007. it was a payment from a class action lawsuit that i was a part of much earlier that year. even though it wasn't cash, it was cool to of found it. i'm also glad the teller at the bank didn't pay enough attention to the date on the check. technically the check is a couple weeks past its 180 day life span, but from my experience of working for the bank i know that no one will care about a $46 dollar check that is a bit past its expiration.

My Childhood

2007-05-07T23:32:00.000-05:00

bucky covington, a former american idol contestant, has a song on his debut album that sums up my childhood better than anysong i've heard to date, and here it is.

We were born to mothers who smoked and drank
Our cribs were covered in lead based paint
No child proof lids no seat belts in cars
Rode bikes with no helmets and still here we are, still here we are
We got daddy's belt when we misbehaved
Had three TV channels you got up to change
No video games and no satellite
All we had were friends and they were outside, playin' outside
It was a different life
When we were boys and girls
Not just a different time
It was a different world
School always started the same every day
The pledge of allegiance then someone would pray
Not every kid made the team when they tried
We got disappointed and that was all right, we turned out all right
No bottled water, we drank from a garden hose
And every Sunday, all the stores were closed
It was a different world

Best Weekend In Austin, Ever

2007-04-19T00:09:00.001-05:00

this past weekend i visited my friend natalie in the city she now calls home, austin. before this past weekend i didn't know natalie all that well. we had briefly met at an MOL party a while back and have kept in touch via blog comments, emails, and myspace on an occasional basis.

back in january i invited her to come up to dallas and go to a mavs game with me in february. initially she was excited about it, but then had to decline my offer due to a starting a new relationship with a guy in austin. i told her that i wasn't inviting her to the game to put the moves on her, but she stuck to her guns, and told me that she wouldn't drive that far to be just friends with a guy. i always thought natalie was attractive, but i never had considered a "more than friends" relationship with her due to her living 220 miles away from me. it was at that time that i decided to question my position on LDRs (long distant relationships). i thought to myself....i'd be willing to try it. heck, if it wasn't for my grandparents giving it a whirl i wouldn't be here.

a could of months later i noticed that natalie's myspace profile said she was single, as opposed to the previous status of in a relationship. i figure what the heck, i'll see if she would like me to visit her. a couple of emails later i had a weekend set aside to go to austin. i was excited, and i don't get excited very often.

finally the weekend came. i woke up at 5:00am and prepared for my early morning drive to austin. i planned on leaving around 6:30am so that we could have breakfast together that saturday morning. i left my parking space around 6:40. being the type of guy that i am i was slightly bothered by my late departure, but quickly got over it because i was fired up about visiting natalie. i was so fired up that i almost forgot my clothes as a walked out my apartment door.

after driving the speed limit for two hours i noticed that i had only an hour to travel the remaining 90 miles if i was to make it to natalie's house at 9:30 like i said i would. it was at this time that i decided to dismiss the posted law and make my own. for the next 80 miles i drove 80-85 mph, and subsequently made it to natalie's only 15 minutes late. not quite the norm for me, but i knew everything would be okay.

we ate breakfast at a cool tex-mex restaurant in downtown austin, the name of which i can't recall, but i must say that it was delicious! after eating breakfast i did what any man should do and that is offer to pay for both of our meals, but natalie would have none of that. she told me that i drove a long way to see her and she would pay for my meals. though i felt awkward, i humbly accepted her offer. i mean really, when is it a good idea to argue with a woman? if you're a man, never, but for some reason we slip up from time to time and do it anyways?!

after breakfast we proceeded to walk to the art festival that natalie had scored passes to just a couple weeks before. we walked around enjoying the art while having small conversations. i had a chance to meet one of natalie's good friends lane, who ended up being an influence into natalie's biggest art purchase ever! which, i must add, she is very excited about. after leaving the art festival we decided to go for a walk at a creek near her home. 2 1/2 hours of great conversation later we were a few miles from her home and our cars. so we decided to walk to whole foods and eat lunch there. following our lunch at whole foods we agreed that we didn't have time to walk over 2 hours back to her place and instead walked just a bit further back downtown to the art festival so that we could get lane to give us a ride home. two hours later, after helping close up shop and talking with more of natalie's friends we got our ride home. at which time i went to check into my hotel and take a shower before going to watch another friend of natalie's play music at a local coffee shop.

i get to my hotel just ten minutes away from natalie's home and check-in. everything seems to be going smooth until i get up to my room. which appears to have never been cleaned by house keeping. i proceed back down to the lobby and inform the attendant of the situation. he appeared to be perplexed by this problem and looked very lost until his manager walked up to see what was going on. a few minutes later i had a key to another room that ended up being clean.

that show at that coffee shop went well and i was able to meet some more of natalie's friends. i don't know if you've notice a trend yet, but she has a lot of friends. if you met natalie in person you would understand why. anyway, following the performance we sat and talked with friends for a bit before ducking out to grab a bite to eat on the way home, which, of course, she paid for. after natalie dropped me off at my car i headed to my hotel just minutes away. i arrived at the hotel high as a kite! this euphoric state was not caused by drugs or alcohol mind you. it was caused by a woman! that's right, i was high on natalie.

the next morning i was to meet back at natalie's for breakfast around 9:30. i woke up at 7:30, took a shower, got dressed, packed my belongings, and checked out of the hotel around 8:30. why so early you ask? i had a plan i wanted to give natalie a thank you card before i left that afternoon, but i knew i wouldn't have time during the day to get one and write in it. thus, i drove to the HEB near her home, picked out a card, and started gathering my thought on a small note pad that i keep in my car. basically what i wrote was that i was enamored by the beauty of her soul, but not in those exact words because i wasn't sure how to spell enamored. so i found other words to express my thoughts. at 9:25 i had just finished re-writing all my collected thoughts inside the card, and proceeded to drive the remaining two minutes to natalie's home.

when i walked into the house natalie was cooking me the best pancakes i have ever eaten. they were apple flavored whole wheat pancakes with bananas cooked in them, and man where they delicious! post breakfast we drove to her church, an episcopalian church, located in downtown austin. i had never been to an episcopalian church before. only after experiencing the service can i tell you that it was similar to a catholic church in practice, only better. i really did enjoy my time there that morning, and thoroughly enjoyed meeting a priest, david, that natalie really looks up too.

after the service natalie and i at lunch with more of her friends at a nearby tex-mex restuarant. it was at this time that i noticed that she has a lot of older friends. natalie is a fresh 23 years of age, or at least she will be in a few days, but most of the friends that i'd met had been over 30 years of age. this alone says a lot about her maturity. post-lunch we made out way back to the church where we were going to help feed the homeless, something natalie is very passionate about and helps out with at least three sundays out of every month. we went in thinking we were going to be a part of a normal group of 10 to 15 people preparing for the meal that would feed 85 of austin's homeless. little did we know we would be the only two present that day to prepare the food.

natalie seemed a bit stressed, but she kept her cool and to our credit we successfully prepared and served food for 85 people! i truly love helping people and i felt blessed to be a part of feeding the homeless that day, and to be put at a place and time where God knew i'd be needed. i know natalie appreciated me being there. especially when you consider the fact that without me she would have been hurting for some help. when we were done cleaning up the mess we had made it was time for me to head out of town. i walked with natalie to her car in the parking garage. we said our good-bye and gave one another a friendly hug. little did she know that while she was off to play volleyball i would be on a secret mission to deliver a thank you card to her house.

that night i couldn't get her out of my head. i had met one of the most amazing women i'd ever met in my life. she might be physically beautiful, but her physical beauty is dull next to the beauty of her soul. she had unknowingly broke through a barrier that i put up a long time ago. some seven years ago now. a barrier that only one other woman has broken through since. that night i went to sleep with thoughts of natalie racing through my mind and the next morning i awoke to the same thing. what had this girl done to me? what was i to do about it? i knew she had expressed interest in being more than friends a few months back, but during my visit she showed no signs of this possible attraction. as far as i could tell she only wanted to be my friend. knowing this i wouldn't let myself float away on cloud nine. while one hand held onto cloud nine the other was clinging to a rope tied to the ground, leaving me dangling in mid air.

that night i had to call her. i had to find out for sure that there was nothing more between us than a friendship. i picked up the phone and made the call. i felt like a teenage boy calling a girl to ask her out, as i expected and partially hoped, i was directed to her voicemail. i left a message and told her that i needed help with a dilemma i was having. later that night she called me back, and i, with all the boldness i had in me, asked her the question. which should i let go of? the cloud or the rope. sadly, but not unexpected, her answer was the rope. normally, with most any other girl, i would be fearful of messing up the friendship too by revealing such feelings, but that day i felt reassured. reassured by my knowledge of natalie's maturity beyond her years. i knew she would understand that i have the maturity not to chase her around like a hormone crazed teenage boy, and she wouldn't ignore me like a teenage girl.

one could look at my past weekend as a love story with a sad ending. a story where the good guy didn’t' get the girl, but that isn't how i see it. the way i see, i found a new friend. a friend with a beautiful soul. a friend that will aid me in my walk with Christ. a friend that most anyone else would trade one of their eyes for. that is why this past weekend was my best weekend in austin, ever.

Doin' Alright

2007-04-08T11:37:00.001-05:00

it has been two weeks since my mom died, and i'm doing alright. i give a lot of credit to God, and the countless prayers of family and friends. for i strongly believe in the power of both.

to a degree the thought of her being dead is still surreal to me. i live in texas and she lived in oregon. it isn't as if we could see each other often. a large part of our relationship over the past few years has been by telephone. we would talk on the telephone once or twice a month and it hasn't been quite a month since we last spoke. thus, my life hasn't changed much to this point.

i don't wake up every morning in an empty bed that had been occupied by two, or sit down for dinner with her as i did as a child. i'm only saddened when i think about not being able to talk to her anymore, visit her from time to time, or share special moments that she looked forward to experiencing. moments such as attending my wedding, or holding a grandchild. i believe it will be during those moments that i will be impacted the most.

right now all that has happened is that i've been told something is gone. i have yet to truly experience it. as i sit and type this post tears run down my face. tears caused only by the thought of my mom being gone, but i know the day will come when i flip open my phone to call her, or i'll want to visit her and i'll realize that can never happen. though those moments will bring sorrow it will not last forever. i think it is okay to think about the past, and laugh and cry because of it, but we must live in the present and for the future that God has in store for us.

my mom impacted mine and many other’s lives in an immense way, and it is our job to do the same. the greatest joy one can experience is being the source of another’s joy, and that is what i strive to do on a daily basis.

A Part of Me is Gone

2007-03-27T08:09:00.000-05:00

A part of me is gone
Never to be seen again
Never to be smelt or felt
The part where I began

A part of me is gone
A part I loved dear
A part that I learned from
To care, to love, and shed tears

A part of me is gone
This I tell the Lord today
My rock, my shepherd
My strength when I pray

A part of me is gone
A part that I cannot keep
A part that I loved & cherished
A part that will eternally sleep

A part of me is gone
For this I mourn today
A part of me is gone
A part know as my mom

Working Out Really Does Work

2007-03-25T15:37:00.000-05:00

Oct 29, 2006 - March 25, 2007

True Friends, Home, & God Continued

2007-03-16T00:37:00.000-05:00

My Pastors read my blog the day that I published it, and rightfully contacted me out of conern. I spoke with her for over half an hour about where I was in life and in all the conversation went quite well. She asked me to think about a couple of questions and get back to her when I could. I just emailed her a letter of some 3000 plus words that follows up my conversation with her and then some. At this point in time I feel better. I'm glad that I wrote my previous post and I'm glad it provoked the response it did.

True Friends, Home, & God

2007-03-12T19:15:00.000-05:00

i haven't developed a close friend in a while now. i have people in my life that i have a great connection with and that i consider close or even best friends, but i live too far away from them to be fed the way i desire to be. since moving to the dfw area 7 1/2 years ago i've made one good connection. it was a year after i moved to dallas and it was with a woman that i dated for nearly 2 years, but our connection has faded over the past 4 years due to several factors that i don't see any point in addressing.

i can't help but wonder how i can live in a city for over 7 years and not have a close friend. i ponder on the possibility that i'm doing something wrong. what that is i don't know for sure, but surely it must be something. i'm not an introvert. i have lots of friends that i've met through chruch and work since i've been in the dfw area. i make it a point to spend time with them in large groups, small groups, and some on an individual basis, but allas none are what i would consider a close friend. i don't feel that i have a deep connection with any of them.

recently i've had thoughts about moving back to my home town. where i would be closer to my family and one of my two best friends. i have two things that keep me from moving home. one is my brother, who now lives with me while he attends college. the second is a wonderful business opportunity that has me on the path of achieving my dreams of financial freedom.

i recently, about a month ago, started visiting a church on sunday mornings that is much closer to my home and much larger than my current church. just last week i even plugged into a small group there in hopes of making some new friends and possibly a few close ones. friendship isn't the only reason i've started visiting a new church. i feel that i have reach a plateau in my relationship with God and i feel i need a mentor to help me grow. i don't feel that there is anyone at my current chruch that i can view in that role. i also have missed the upbeat praise music that we use to sing at church. what happened to it? i don't know, but i do know that what we've been singing for the past couple of years isn't where i'm at in my walk with God and it doesn't reflect how i feel about Him. i've wanted to tell my friends at church that i've been visiting another church, but i've had trouble bringing myself to do just that. it feels a lot like telling a girlfriend that you just want to be friends, and for me that ain't easy. i wonder if any of my friends have noticed me slowly breaking my ties to responsibility at church. i stepped down from the leadership team in august and i've announced that i'm stepping down from the budget team at the end of march.

i know of a couple of friends that will read this blog and possibly freak out. if you are one of these friends reading this before i actually told you this face to face. please, don't freak out. i'm not trying to burn a bridge or join the witness protection program. i'm only trying to grow to be the man God wants me to be.

Christian Kissing

2007-01-19T11:59:00.000-06:00

i recently had a friend pose this question to me.

"what would u say to someone or what would ur argument be to someone who says christians shouldn't kiss before marriage?"

it was an interesting enough topic for me to post on my blog, and here is my answer.

the statement that christians shouldn't kiss before marriage is ridiculous. there is nothing biblically wrong with people kissing. kissing is a sign of affection, like hugging. there are european cultures that interoperate a kiss like we do hugs. on the flip side for someone who has been raised in a culture that limits kissing to sexual relations, then that could be a legitimate reason to want to abstain from kissing until marriage. for some, kissing someone might make it very hard for them to control certain desires. you know what desires i'm talking about.

so it isn't so much a christian ordeal as it is a cultural or personal ordeal. there have been powerful men in christian history that have chosen to never be alone with a woman that they are not married to so that no one could ever speculate that they have acted immorally with a woman, and so they wouldn't be tempted to. they didn't do this because they thought christians shouldn't be alone with someone of the opposite sex before marriage. they did it to protect themselves, and someone not wanting to kiss before marriage should be respected for their feelings about the subject. at the same time they should know that such a choice isn't a biblical mandate.

my black and white answer is that it isn't wrong to kiss before marriage. on the other hand, if it helps an individual stay pure of heart and closer to God, i can respect such a choice. alcoholics make similar decisions. drinking alcohol isn't wrong, but for some people it can lead to immoral acts, and i think that is how some christians feel about kissing.

Motivation & Momentum

2007-01-18T10:26:00.000-06:00

i must say that i've definitely become lax in my blogging. i wouldn't say i've become burnt out, but i have lost the motivation to write about my experiences on a regular basis. i wouldn't even say i'm all that motivated to write at this moment, but i feel that i should.

what is on my mind right now is that i had a good 2006, but i didn't accomplish what i wanted to accomplish in 2006. that thought gives me the feeling of a loss of momentum and at the same time a bit of motivation. i feel that one needs motivation to overcome the loss of momentum. the only question is whether i have enough motivation? i did have enough motivation to get my ass of my coach at 9pm last night to go to the gym. i tell you what, that box we call a television can really cause a guy to waste his life away. if i didn't have my brother living with me i think i would hide it in a closet.

How Animal Crackers Are Really Made

2007-01-16T13:09:00.000-06:00

i always thought animal crackers were made by imprinting animal figures into cookie dough, but come to find out they make themselves.

Hand Made Christmas Present

2006-12-21T08:48:00.000-06:00

this year i helped make a hand made christmas present for my dad. i would have made it myself but i'm not very skilled when it comes to sewing. i had a quilt made for my dad for christmas. how did i help make it? i picked out the fabric for the quilt. i know, picking out fabric for a quilt might just be breaking a man law set by the men of the square table, and giving another man a quilt as a present is for sure breaking a man law set by the men of the square table. though technically i might not have broken a man law because i'm not sure it has been written in the man law book yet. either way, my dad loves eagle and i thought it would be cool to have an eagle quilt made for him, and here it is.

Change

2006-12-02T21:41:00.000-06:00

it's not that some people have willpower and some don't. it's that some people are ready to change and others are not.
- James Gordon

change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. to the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. to the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. to the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better.
- king whitney jr.

any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking, but a full-on metamorphosis.
- martha beck

For The First Time

2006-11-21T09:40:00.000-06:00

this past friday, for the first time, i volunteered at children's medical center. i was with a group from the art institute of dallas, which i'm an alumni of. the art institute of dallas has started a new program is which students, facility, and alumni can participate in a monthly art project in which those who volunteer go and work with the children on arts and craft projects. the projects are largely theme based. so for november we helped the kids with thanksgiving art projects. i'm told the number of kids varies greatly because of many different variables. such as time of day, the schedule of procedures for a child, or the child's mood and energy level. previously we were told that children are more active in the mornings. i guess friday wasn't typical because we only had 6 children for 6 volunteers. never-the-less it was a lot of fun helping the kids make hand turkeys and place mats for thanksgiving. i too made a hand turkey.

saturday, for the first time, i was THE photographer at a wedding. i must say that i was nervous at first and i didn't totally know what i was doing, but i had a lot of fun and i believe everything turned out well. especially when i consider this was my first ever wedding to shoot. i'll be posting some of the wedding photos on my photo blog over the next couple of weeks. the only disappointment for me was my camera. though it is a nice camera. there were a few shots that would have been great if the picture wasn't blurry.

on saturday i also carved my first turkey. i attended a thanksgiving party at a friend's house and evidently no one knew how to carve a turkey. a group of ladies in the kitchen came up with the idea that carving a turkey sounded like a "jlay job". i don't know exactly why they thought it was a jlay job? maybe it is because it involved a big knife? either way it was evidently a job for me. while i was standing on the back patio drinking a beer i heard the hostess call out my name from the kitchen. i proceed to make my way to the kitchen where i'm asked if i can carve a turkey. i quickly thought to myself, "i've seen my dad carve a few turkeys. how hard can it be". at this point i agreed to carve the turkey. i took off my nice shirt (leaving me in my white undershirt), put on an apron, and proceeded to carve the turkey. i started by tearing the legs and wings off the bird. after that i sliced the meat off the bird and placed it on a platter. while i'm doing this a couple of people commented on how great of a job i was doing. at which time i proceed to let that cat out of the bag. that being that i've never carved a turkey before in my life. i've only seen my dad do it a couple of times. which made my turkey carving abilities even more impressive. what can i say...it isn't rocket science.

Naturally Baked?

2006-11-16T11:57:00.000-06:00

like a lot of days, i brought a sandwich for lunch. lately i've been eating chips out of the company stash as opposed to my usual triskets. today while opening a bag of baked doritos i noticed that the bag states that the chips are "naturally baked"; as opposed to un-naturally baked? to say that the chips are naturally baked implies that there is/are un-natural ways to bake chips. i asked a co-worker what un-natural way she could think of to bake chips and she replied, "blow-torched?" i have to give her creative credit on that answer because that is un-natural in my book. even more important, i want to know what method of baking chips is natural. the only one i can think of is sun baked, and i promise these "naturally baked" chips aren't sun baked. i asked wikipedia, an online encyclopedia, what naturally baked is and it had no answer. so, fritolay, how do you naturally bake a chip?

Busy Life

2006-11-10T11:01:00.000-06:00

over the past six weeks my life has become quite busy. in a post in september i mentioned that i was going to experience some explosive change in my life, and i've made a point to make that happen. which is why i've become quite busy over the past six weeks. around the first of september i made the decision to quit approaching my part-time financial services career lackadaisically, and i've stuck to that plan for almost 10 weeks now. it is my goal to be a full time financial consultant by january 1, 2008. i'm really tired of working a job that doesn't hold any guarantee for the future and whose pay is based upon the position and not the person. if i achieve my goal i plan on rewarding myself with a new car; specifically the new dodge challenger.

i've also made a point to increase my volunteer activities. since august i've added habitat for humanity, children's medical center of dallas, and one.org to my charitable activities. which before the additions there was only one activity, and that is the well community, which i'm still involved with.

besides these changes, more are coming. i'm happy with my life, but i'm not content with it. a wise man told me that we will all feel pain in life. you can't always choose whether or not you will feel the pain, but sometimes you can choose what kind of pain you feel. two of the pains in life are the pain of change and the pain of regret. both can bring equally matched pain, but only one will bring positive results. it hurts to step out of your comfort zone. it hurts to choose whether or not to keep someone in your immediate circle of friends. it hurts to work late and sacrifice time that could be spent with friends for the benefit of you and your family’s future. it hurts to remove luxuries that you are use to having in order to prepare for the future, but with the pain of change you can have either positive or negative results. the pain of regret only gives one result; a negative one.

My Little Toe

2006-11-09T10:51:00.000-06:00

last night i stubbed my little toe on the corner of my bed so hard that i cut a big gash in it, and blood came pouring out. i had to stay up an extra half-hour last night just to make sure that it had stopped bleeding. who needs blood all over their bed sheets? amazingly enough it doesn't hurt today. never-the-less it is wrapped up with a bandage and sports tape to protect it as the large piece of floppy skin heals back to my toe, TMI i'm sure.

Milestone

2006-11-07T21:14:00.000-06:00

okay, so i have set a record. since i started blogging i have never gone this long without blogging. i've had stuff to write about and i've thought to myself..."i should blog about this", but i just haven't had time or made it a priority.

anyway, tonight while playing softball i hit a true homerun. one that actually went over the fence. i've hit many homeruns in my softball career, but never one over the fence. part of that could be because the dallas league i played in didn't really have fences. the league in farmers branch that i play in now has nice fields with fences and i now know that i have the ability to hit a dinger. i must say it felt really good. heck, it is the first time i hit a homerun in a game since i was this big....

this is me when i was 11 years old

Free Advice

2006-10-02T11:14:00.000-05:00

sunday, around noon, i was at white rock lake passing the time by walking around looking for a few good photos. while walking i passed an older, thin, tan man sitting in a short lawn chair near the side of the trail. to the left of his chair were two other chairs very similar to the one he was sitting in. all three chairs along with his pair of shoes were weighing down a green sheet that he had laid out on the ground in a picnic fashion. near the corner of the sheet was a white styrofoam cooler that had a black sign with white text propped up against it that read "free advice". at the time i walked by he was talking to a man and a woman straddling their bicycles directly in front of him. i found this situation very interesting and it peaked my curiosity. i continued to walk by as i was on a mission to find a few good photo opportunities.

after getting in a good walk and a couple of good shots i headed back to my car. on the way i noticed that the advice guy was unoccupied. so i proceeded to walk over to his station and strike up a conversation. i really didn't have any intensions of getting free advice. not that i was opposed to getting advice. i was just more curious as to how and why he was there. initially i stood as a quizzed the advice guy, neal caldwell. i found out that he had been giving free advice on sundays at white rock lake for 10 1/2 years now. i've been to the lake several time and have never noticed him, but that has a lot to do with the fact that i rarely go on sunday. it turns out that he has a counter-part, roderick macelwain, that takes his place in the afternoon. neal sits out by the lake from 10am-2pm most every sunday, this i learned from a business card that he gave me at the end of our meeting. after a brief interruption by a couple nice ladies promoting a dog walk that is to be held on october 21st, i accepted neal's invitation to down and continue our conversation.

neal was very easy to talk to, but according to him his counter-part has much more success in talking to people. he said that his buddy seems to talk to ten times as many people as he does. how much exaggeration was in that statement i don't know. as we sat and chatted we talked about how i too give free advice, only in a different setting and on a specific topic, about finance. he asked me about my experiences with people and overcoming a person's suspicions about getting free stuff, because most people think there is a catch to everything; and rightly they should. the world is full of people and business trying to make a quick dollar, and many use gimmicks promising "free" products and services to lure people in. as with i, neal gives advice because he enjoys helping others.

eventually he turned the conversation into an advice giving session, and i willingly let him. as i said before, i'm not opposed to getting advice. we ended up talking about my semi-blind coffee date that i had scheduled that afternoon. as he quizzed me on my intensions & methods of interaction and communication he would give affirmations and at other times neal suggested alternative methods or actions. i've never been to a counseling session, but that is what it felt like. at least as i know a counseling session to be, and it felt good. it was nice to bounce ideas off of someone and get advice and affirmation on my future actions. so, if you're ever in need of some good third party advice. feel free to visit neal or roderick on any given sunday at white rock lake, specifically on the west lawther side of the lake.

here is an article from the dallas morning news on neal and roderick. (click here)

God's Control

2006-09-28T20:53:00.000-05:00

this week i started reading rick warren's "the purpose driven life". i'm not much of a reader. so for me to read a book or at least start to read a book i must have a reason. my main reason for buying the book is that i've heard a lot of people talk about the book which has sparked my curious side. another reason i bought the book is because it is a self improvement book, and that is about all i am willing to read. finally i bought the book to read because it only cost me $3.25. if it cost me more than $5.00 i wouldn't have bought it.

i'm not far enough into the book to give it a review. i've only read the first two chapters, but the second chapter has bothered me a bit. rick states in chapter two that God has planned everyday of our lives from birth to death. personally i have a hard time accepting this belief. i believe that he brings us into this world as well as takes us away. i also believe that God has the power to plan everyday of my life, but i don't believe he does. maybe it is because i need it to make sense in my head. i feel that if i believe that God plans every day of our lives the system breaks down.

what do i mean by this. well, i've been taught that God gave me free will. this means that i have the ability to make choices. this means i have a certain amount of control over events in my life. this means that i choose whether to believe that Jesus, son of God, came to earth to be sacrificed for the forgiveness of my sins. this means that i and everyone else makes a choice that either leads to our salvation or condemnation. when i'm told that God plans everyday of our existance. it makes it sound like we are all pieces in a game of life. it makes it sound as if God chooses who goes to heaven and who doesn't. it isn't God's choice whether i go to heaven or not. it is my choice because of the gift that God has given me. the gift of free will. maybe i'm reading the chapter wrong? maybe i need to read it again? maybe i need to finish the book before i start going on and on about this?

Line Rider

2006-09-27T08:53:00.000-05:00

yesterday while watching yahoo's the "9". i learned of a website with a really addicting interactive flash game called Line Rider. i reccommend taking it for a test drive. some people have even saved their's and posted it to youtube, which you must watch to get a real idea of what can be done with the game. i'm going to post one of them below, but there are more where it came from.

My 26th Bday

2006-09-21T15:57:00.000-05:00

my 26th birthday went quite well. i treated myself to panda express chinese food for lunch. i attended the opening of the gaylord texan's glass cactus as a press photographer. this means that when security told me i couldn't bring my camera into the building i got to politely say "i'm a press photographer", it was sweet. i had a lot of fun taking photos and listening to the two live bands play. i might have gone to the glass cactus by myself, but i made sure that i wasn't a wall flower for too long. i made friends with security and with a table of women in their late 30's and early 40's. what can i say? it was the only table i saw without a man sitting at it. so i pulled up a chair and started socializing. i'll post a few cool photos on my photo blog over the next week. feel free to take a gander by clicking the link on the right side of page below my profile pic.

26 Years

2006-09-20T09:51:00.000-05:00

sometime close to 3:26 in the afternoon 26 years ago i was born. according to my friend jason it was a saturday. jason would know because he has memorized the perpetual calendar. so if you tell you that you were born on september 20, 1980 he will respond back with no hesitation at all that you were born on a saturday, crazy huh?

anyway, my 25th year outside of my mom's womb was a good one. i've felt very blessed by God. the past 12 months has really felt like a year of growth for me, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. i've grown closer to God, i've matured, i've expanded my social network, and i've become healthier person both physically and mentally. what really excites me is that even though i've felt this positive growth & improvement, it is only the start of it. i really look forward to becoming the person i will be a year from now. this next year is going to be a year of explosive change.

Walking In The Rain

2006-09-18T09:00:00.000-05:00

sometimes i feel that men don't grow up. they just grow old. take yesterday for example. around 2pm the rain started to pour down heavily at my apartment. not a lot of thunder or lightning, just rain. so i decide to put on a pair of shorts, a shirt, and sandals and go for a walk, in the rain. it made me think of the song "singing in the rain", but instead of singing in the rain i whistled in the rain. while i was whistling in the rain several cars passed me, and i'm sure the people in them thought i was crazy. who in there right mind would go walking in the rain? i think for me it is a kind of rebellion. as a kid i wasn't allowed to go out in the rain and jump in puddles of water. my mom always told me, "you'll catch a cold". now i live under my own roof and make my own rules. if you've never gone for a walk in the rain i recommend giving it a try. it is quite refreshing to say the least. just make sure it isn't too cold outside.

My Internet Content Filter At Work

2006-09-18T07:30:00.000-05:00

shortly after i started working at my new job a new server was installed. along with the server came an outside company that filters what types of content can be viewed through our ip address. a few times now the filter has wrongfully blocked my view of particular web pages for all the wrong reasons. one time i was blocked from looking at an ovation acoustic guitar because the filter thought it contained pornography! the name that ovation gave that line of guitars was celebrity and the guitar i was trying to checkout was black. so i was blocked for trying to access a site that had the words black celebrity in it. this has happened on a couple of other sites too. they had nothing to do with porn, but because of a couple of key words i get blocked. another time i wanted to send a semi-long text message to a friend and decided to do it through sprints website, but the filter blocked me. evidently it won't let me use any chat services or sms text services. so i ended up wasting more company time because i had to type it out on my phone, and i'm not the best at it to say the least.

i just remembered another one. i hardly play the lotto, but i played it once back in may and i tried to look up the winning numbers online. turns out that the texas lotto site was blocked because it had to do with gambling. really, i could understand if it was a poker site or something, but the texas lotto? so i spent about 15 minutes finding a site that would show me the numbers without being blocked. finally, i, like millions of others in the united states, use myspace. i like to check for new messages a couple of times a day. usually when i first get to work and then again in the afternoon. i've been doing this at work since april, but today i was blocked from accessing myspace because it was related to dating & relationships. several times i've been blocked from reading news articles on yahoo because they had do to with relationships. sometimes the stuff that gets blocked by the filter baffles me. the irony to the whole thing is that a couple of weeks ago i did an image search for pictures of car wash signs and ended up with multiple results of women washing cars topless. so the filter lets me open pictures of topless women, but not an acoustic guitar.

Problem Solved...With $205.17

2006-09-17T14:13:00.000-05:00

okay, so....all week i tried to fix my bikes suspension with my country-fied ingenuity. in the end my design worked, but i couldn't get the j-b weld to hold. thus, today i broke down and took my bike to the bike shop to be fixed. my new suspension will cost $130, installation $10, and to make it all work i need to spend $50 converting my steerer from a threaded design to a non-threaded design. thursday i will be able to pick up my bike in working order for $205.17 which is half the price of my bike brand new. at least when i get my bike back i will be able to ride it again.

A Great Weekend With And A Problem To Solve

2006-09-13T10:36:00.000-05:00

this past weekend i drove to my hometown to play in a charity golf tournament and spend time with my family and friends. i tell you it was good times. my friend dj, who now lives in waco, adam who still lives in burkburnett, and i, who live in lewisville all got to play golf, pool, ping-pong, poker, and trail ride together. with us all living a few hours apart and having lives to live and schedules to keep. we don't all three get together as much as we would like. i don't think all three of us have been together since christmas? when you've been best friends for 19 years, 9 months can seem like a long time.

right before the three of us went trail riding i discovered that the front suspension of my bike was broken. what broke was a plastic piece inside of the suspension that holds the spring and the tubing together. luckily i was still able to go trail riding even though it was broken. i just had to make sure that i didn't catch too much air. if i did my front suspension and front wheel would fall of my bike, causing me to crash to the ground rather hard. i'm happy to report i did not crash my bike.

over the last couple of days i've spent a lot of time online and at three different bike shops trying to find replacements for the broken pieces inside my suspension. what i've found is that my suspension is what the industry considers "entry level", and in turn they do not sell repair or rebuild kits for such a suspension. they tell you that you need to buy a new one. in most instances buying a new "entry level" part for anything should be rather inexpensive, right? well, not in the cycling world. in the cycling world "entry level" suspension runs $130 to $150.

with all the research i've done i've found that what the industry calls a decent suspension cost around $250 to $500, and the high end stuff goes all the way up to $2700! i recall spending $350ish dollars on my bike when i bought it about 4 years ago. so it is hard for me to swallow someone trying to sell me a $250 bike part. what kills me the most about it all is that the broken parts in my suspension, if they were sold retail, couldn't cost more than $20 to $30. with me not wanting to spend $130 on a set of "entry level" suspension forks i've decided to attempt to fix the suspension myself with 2 large headless bolts, 2 small headless bolts, 6 nuts, 8 washers, and some j-b weld. with a total cost that probably won't exceed $15. if i succeed my solution will be genius. if i fail i'm out $15 bucks and a couple hours of my life which i can chalk up to experience.

The Weekend Of New People

2006-09-05T17:25:00.000-05:00

this past weekend was a weekend of new people. it all started on saturday at my friend emily's birthday party. i met emily a couple months ago when she started coming to my church. since she came to my group of friends i hadn't met any of her friends until saturday. i only knew 2 of the 20 or more other people there. one was emily and the other was my brother who i brought with me. monday i went to my friend kirstin's house for her birthday cookout. once again i knew no one but the birthday girl. so i got to meet about 15 more new people there. after the cookout i met up with a new friend named bryan, who i met through an ex-girlfriend's sister. we met at a bar in addison for drinks, and we unexpectedly ended up hanging out with 3 marines, 4 girls that they picked up in the bar and a guy that was a friend of 2 of the girls. all in all i must have met 40 new people this weekend. which was awesome because i love meeting new people.

i also have to give a shout out to my friends that i've know for a few years now. i had great time hanging out with them on sunday night. meeting new people is always good stuff, but the people you have the best times with are the ones who have been around a while.

Contentment & Generosity

2006-08-24T23:21:00.000-05:00

over the past few weeks my church has been focusing on contentment and generosity. at the end of our service last week the topic was opened up for some discussion. it was interesting to hear the different view points on the topic from those i've know for a while to those i've never seen before. it seems a lot of people, like myself, have had some struggles with this topic. the truth is almost every christian has had some kind of struggle with the topic at one point or another.

i know God calls me to love my neighbor as myself. to give ten percent of all i make as a tithe. if someone asked for my help, give it. if i loan money, do not charge interest. if someone doesn't pay me back as they promised, don't sue them for it. only take what what i need and share the rest with those in need. to not let my wants and desires affect my ability to do the aforementioned things. furthermore i'm called to rely on God and to trust that he will always provide for me. this has caused me to question whether it is right to save for retirement. should i give my tithe, keep what is necessary to cover my current needs, give the rest to the less fortunate, and rely on the Lord for the future? is it wrong to put way for retirement?

my curiosity has sparked some recent reading on my part. i know proverbs 6 speaks of a parable about an ant. it says to pay attention to the ant. to note that it labors all summer gathering food for the winter. when i take this lesson and apply it to my life i come up with the following belief.... i should give my tithe, keep what is necessary to cover my currents needs and a small portion of my future needs, and give the rest to the less fortunate.

to me saving a portion of my income for retirement is what God wants me to do, but at the same time he wants me to do it in a manner that is fitting to his calling for me. i should not save for a lavish retirement, but instead for a retirement as humble as the life he calls me to live now. this can cause one to wonder how much is needed to be saved to live a humble life in the future. if i start saving too late or if i save too little i will end up in distress like an ant that didn't do its job. at the same time i don't want to save too much because i then would be misusing that which God has given me. fortunately history has shown our society to be fairly predictable. thus my future cost of living can be predicted by using some higher math. this way i can save only what i will need for the "winter".

sadly, i've made mistakes in the past that have led me to a lifestyle unbefitting to what God has called me to. all i can do at this point is focus on rectifying my situation so that i can live the life God has called me to live. thankfully he has given me the knowledge and the tools to do so.

Flat Tire

2006-08-23T12:04:00.001-05:00

today, on my way to work i got a flat. fortunately i was able to pull into an apartment complex parking lot and change my tire. i'm proud to say that from the time i parked my car to the time i drove away on my good tire, only 15 mins had elapsed. i think that is the fastest i've ever changed a tire. my flat caused me to experienced two first. for the first time in the 11 years i've been driving i had a flat on my own car. also, i've never changed a flat on a car i've been driving. earlier this year i was driving my dad's truck and had a flat, but since there was not a spare with the truck he brought one to me and changed it himself. for the record i've changed several flats in my day. just not for myself. this doesn't mean that i've never had something get stuck in my tire in 11 years. i've had several tires fixed because of nails, screws, and other metal objects. for what ever reason none of the previous objects ever caused my tire to go flat. i've even driven around for 3 months with a bolt in a tire!

Volunteer work

2006-08-19T22:52:00.000-05:00

today i attended the dallas habitat for humanity orientation, and i had a lot of fun. they really seem to have the process down. i like how they held training for those who weren't familiar with construction. i really look forward to volunteering with habit for humanity. i did it a couple of times in garland, tx with my church, and those were good times. i love helping people and i like building things. the dallas chapter is quite large and has a goal of 100 houses per year. which means i will have plenty of opportunities to volunteer.

Barista Art...Amazing!

2006-08-16T14:59:00.000-05:00

Moved...Again

2006-08-15T15:53:00.000-05:00

this past weekend i moved...again. it basically reminded me why i hate moving so much. i'll help others move. that i'm okay with, but i hate moving myself. when you help someone move you typically do just that, move stuff. when you are the one moving you have to pack, move, clean the old place, and then unpack. this is all way too much for me not to be disgruntle. at least more good comes out of it than bad. otherwise i wouldn't do it. in this case my younger brother is coming to live with me. we are sharing a two bed/ two bath apartment. i've had a roommate for the first 5 1/2 years after leaving the womb, and i've lived alone for the past year. i'm hear to say i like living with someone. you get a stay at home friend and someone to split the bills with. that's all i feel like typing for now. heck, it is the second time i've typed this.

Saving Money When Moving

2006-08-07T10:58:00.000-05:00

would you dumpster dive to save $75? let me be more specific. would you sort through a local electronic store's dumpster, that only contains boxes and packaging material to save money? i know i would. i've done this several times now, and i estimate that i save about $75 each time by doing so. this week i will be moving for the 7th time in 7 years. that sounds pretty crazy right? i don't move every 12 months and i don't even like moving. life just happens and i go with the flow.

in october of 1999 i moved into student housing that my school offered. there were four of us (me, brad, gerald, matt) living in a 2 bed / 2 bath apartment. each of us had to pay $400 a month. this covered rent, water, electric, and furniture rentals. we all decided that this was too much to pay for a 2 bedroom apartment that we could rent ourselves for $650 at the time. so six months later we moved. 12 months after that gerald "came out of the closet" and moved into an apartment with another friend of his, and brad and i kicked matt out for not paying rent for 3 months, which left two of us. shortly after that one of my two best friends, adam, moved to dallas and lived with us for 8 months in a 3 bedroom apartment that we moved to. 8 months later he decided he didn’t like the city and moved back home. which caused brad and i to downsize back to a 2 bedroom apartment. both i and brad were tired of moving at this point. so we stayed in that apartment for 30 months. due to job locations we decided to move again. we managed to live in that apartment for 18 months before i decided that we should go our separate ways due to brad practically living with his girlfriend and constantly being late with his half of the rent. thus, i moved into a one bedroom apartment. i spent the past year in this one bedroom apartment, and i would continue to live in it, but like i said, life happens.

my younger brother decided a few months back that he wanted to move to dfw to go to school. he found out that his student housing would cost him $350 and he would be sharing a 2 bed/ 2 bath apartment with 3 other guys. he didn't like this idea. so i told him he could live with me for the same price and have his own room. which brings me to my move this week. i don't know exactly how long i'll live in this new apartment with my brother, but i don't see it going more than two or three years.

Is Myspace Evil?

2006-08-01T12:50:00.000-05:00

it seems that i come into contact with many people who think myspace is evil. largely due to the sexual predators that use it to prey on young teens, but does this make myspace evil? isn't it the predator who is evil and not myspace? when a person drives to a school and bribes a child into the car with candy; is the candy evil or the person behind the wheel? when a minister molests a child in the church; is the church evil or the minister?

there are many good things in the world that are used for evil acts. this does not make the candy, church, or webpage bad. it is the person who is using it in such a way. when a terrorist uses a plane to kill thousands of people do we call the planes evil? no, of course not. we acknowledge the good of the plane and change the rules for which it is used to protect the people who use them. the same should be done with myspace. both myspace and the parents should change the usage rules to protect those who use myspace.

Rekindling of Friendships

2006-07-31T08:46:00.000-05:00

this past weekend i spent a a good amount of time rekindling a couple of friendships. friday i took my friend kathryn, who i hadn't seen in a year, to dinner and a ranger's game. i had fun spending time with her despite the ranger's getting their butts kicked, and by that i mean 11-3. on a side note they did get redemption last night when they won 15-2.

saturday i had lunch with a friend, tori, who i hadn't seen or talked to in 4 years! tori is a friend from high school who moved away either during or right before my senior year, which was her sophomore year. we had kept somewhat in touch for four years after she left, but somehow faded apart. i had a blast visiting her and her mom and talking about the good ol' days and what is new in our lives. tori is the third friend that i've found on myspace and gotten together with.

sunday i was suppose to spend time with another friend who i hadn't seen in 4 years, kirstin. i found her on myspace too. i don't know why so many people think myspace is so evil, but that is a post for another day, maybe tomorrow? kirstin and i were suppose to go fabric shopping together, but her daughter became sick and she had to cancel. i know you know thinking..."why was j-lay going fabric shopping?" well i found out that my friend kirstin makes quilts. as a child, when i would visit my grandparents, i would take naps underneithe the quilts that my grandma made. so i decided i wanted one made for me. i ended up going fabric shopping by myself yesterday. which didn't feel too awkward because my mom use to make clothes for my brother and i, and we would get to go to the store with her now and again to buy the material.

A Real Life Spiderman?

2006-07-25T12:49:00.000-05:00

this video is wild! you must watch the entire thing!

You or God's Choice?

2006-07-24T19:13:00.000-05:00

who hasn't asked God what to do? i'm sure there are some people out there that haven't, but as far as a christian is concerned who hasn't prayed to God and said, "what do you want me to do Lord? what are you calling me to do?" i think that there are times in our lives that God calls us to perform a particular task, but i don't think this is how it works most of the time. i feel that most of the time if we could stand face to face with God and ask, "what do you want me to do Lord, how may i serve you?" he wouldn't give a specific task. he would say to us, "my child, i've given you many abilities. i've also given you free will. you choose how you want to serve me. all i ask of you is to serve me by serving my people, your fellow "man". how you do this is your choice. serve me in the ways that bring me honor and you joy. for it is through joyful service that you will be the most effective." i might be right about this or i might be wrong, but i just can't fathom God giving us so many talents, abilities, and free will; only to order us around like drones.

Putty & Stone

2006-07-23T22:34:00.000-05:00

from time to time we all run across a nugget, a life lesson, or perhaps a motto to live by. this morning i attended a small church that a good friend and mentor of mine was preaching at. during his sermon he served up a great nugget. "you can't drive a car straight forward by staring in the rearview mirror." meaning you can't live your life by dwelling on the past. just like driving. while driving forward you should only glance in the rearview mirror. it is good to remember the past and to learn from it, but if you dwell, sulk, or live in the past your gunna drift of course.

what if.....
if only......
i should of.....
i could of......
i wish i would've.....

are these bad phrases? i don't think so, but that doesn't mean that can't do harm. they're like ice cream. they're not a bad.... in moderation. taking a moment to look in the mirror and remember the past helps protect us on our journey. i think it is okay to say these phrases once or twice about the past, but when you constantly look in the rearview mirror of life and run "what if" scenarios through your head you will only drift off course. sometimes you might even crash and burn. i have run across a few people in my life that have this problem. they spend so much time thinking of what they could have or should have done in a particular situation or time in their life that they don't make a whole lot of forward progress. no matter what you do or think the past will never change. so why put so much time and effort into something that you can't do anything about? why not put your time and effort into something that is a lot more moldable, a lot more like putty and a lot less like stone? something like the future.

Good, But Very Unknown Music

2006-07-20T09:34:00.000-05:00

as most know i am a fan of country music. a friend of mine, ronnie fauss (a/k/a mol junior), has a decent collection of alt country/folk music that he has written and recorded. you can't buy his music anywhere but from the man himself. at least i couldn't find a website that sells it. he might not even have any left for all i know. all i know is i bought a couple of cds from him a few years ago. from time to time i listen to his stuff, and i'm hear to say that i always love to hear it. you'll probably never hear the likes of any of his songs on the radio, even though i think they are worthy. i'm not sure he has ever tried to sell any of them and i'm not sure he could??? the thing is i don't think a one of them would make it past the clear channel review board. if you know ronnie, a/k/a mol junior, and you haven't heard any of his music. i recommend bugging him for a cd or better yet a live performance.

Child Rearing With A Tangent

2006-07-18T11:31:00.000-05:00

last night i was a bumb and camped out on the couch to watch tv. for the second time ever i watch super nanny. it might come as a shock to everyone that i know, but i like to learn about child rearing. this is not a fact that i've shared with people. not because i'm embarassed about it. the subject just doesn't come up in conversation with anyone. probably because i haven't been in a long term relationship in 4 years.

what got me on the kick was in the year 2000 i started dated a woman with an 18 month old son. i dated her for nearly 2 years, and i still hangout with her and her son from time to time today, 4 years later. btw, he turned 7 this year! even though i don't have kids i know what parents mean when they say that kids grow up fast. anyway, ever since i started dating her i've been reading about parenting. i never bought any books or anything, but anytime i was in a waiting area, whether it be at the doctors office, auto shop, tire shop, ect. i would read the parenting magazines instead of the car or sports magazines. though i'm not currently a father and i'm not in any position to be one anytime soon. i do want a wife and kids someday, and i want to be prepared. it is very interesting to learn about the different points of view and techniques of child rearing. though i grew up in a home that believed in spanking, and it worked mind you, i have found through literature and personal experience that it is not necessarily necessary. watching the super nanny on tv really re-enforces this way of thinking as well.

something else i notice on super nanny is that a lot of parents she helps think that they are getting most of the parent principles right. when they are totally getting them wrong. one can't really put too much blame on them because child rearing isn't something that is really taught to parents. so they really don't know if they are doing something wrong until it is typically too late. this lead me to think of another subject that people don't get educated on; money. people go through life thinking they are doing the right thing with there money. when in reality they aren't, and typically won't find out until it is too late. the main problem is no one has ever taught them how. when you leave a bunch of people to figure things out for themselves, some will get it right and most will get it wrong on the first try. for a lot of things in life this is okay because we learn from our mistakes and correct them. the only problem with children and money is we tend to find out that we made a mistake a tad bit too late in the game to go back and correct it.

so i kind of feel like i'm a super nanny of money. instead of showing up to people's houses and guiding them on good child rearing practices. i show up and guide them on how to make educated financial decisions that will greatly effect their future quality of life. the sad fact is many people don't think to get a guide for the longest journey of their lives, their financial journey, until it is too late. a major financial magazine reported in 2005 that 95 out of 100 people that turned 65 in 2005 would either still be working or broke and unable to work. something that could have been avoided if they had taken action sooner in life. that is the kicker to the whole deal. the most important factor in the planning of one's retirement or a child's education is time, and time is the one think most people don't give too much weight when it comes to these long term goals.

Bird Killer

2006-07-16T22:12:00.000-05:00

tonight while on my way home i was driving up preston rd on my way to 635. i was taking it easy and driving 40 mph. about a mile before i got to 635 i noticed a pigeon in the road. i didn't think much of it. i see pigeons in the road all the time. you drive towards them, they get scared and fly away. that's how it works right? well, that is how it has worked for me for the last 10 years that i've been driving. that is until tonight. evidently this pigeon didn't get the memo because it took flight a bit too late and i hit it with my car. first i saw it hit my grill, next i saw bird poop splatter on my windshield, and finally a bunch of feathers in the rearview mirror. it was a bid disturbing. i've never killed a bird with my car before. though i did run over one with my bicycle when i was seven. that too was disturbing. i was riding my bike with my family that day. so that i could ride next to my mom and dad i was riding my bike through the grass on the side of the road. all of a sudden i heard this awful noise. i locked up my breaks and rammed my private parts into the handle bars. after crying on the ground for a few minutes i looked back at what made the awful noise. it was a black bird. Now ever since i've been driving birds have always been able to get out of the way. especially when i was driving 40 mph. i've seen birds get out of the way when i was driving down the highway! i guess it was this birds time to go.

Sugar Packets

2006-07-14T16:10:00.000-05:00

let's say that you went to a restaurant and ordered an iced tea. would you proceed to pour 10 packets of sugar into your tea? probably not. from time to time i will drink a soda and i'll think to myself, "i'm drinking a liquid candy bar". which is pretty much the truth. an average can of soda contains 40 grams of sugar. a packet of sugar contains 4 gram of sugar. so a soda contains 10 packets of sugar. is that not just wild or what? i know there are people out there who drink 4-6 sodas a day. that would be 40-60 packets of sugar! crazy stuff i tell you, crazy stuff.

Pictures Made Of Pictures

2006-07-12T11:35:00.000-05:00

if you like cool stuff, you'll like this site. each picture is made of more pictures.

http://interact10ways.com/usa/information_interactive.htm

Four Day Weekend

2006-07-06T13:26:00.000-05:00

so i'm back in lewisville after a four day weekend in my hometown of burkburnett, tx. i had a great mini vacation. saturday i played basketball and racquetball with my brother and best friend adam. later that night we went and saw the new superman movie. sunday was a pretty laid back day of church and spending time with my grand parents. monday night i saw a free, b y o b, mini-concert where adam and i shared a bottle of rum to go along with our coca cola. about 3/4 of the way through the concert i got a call from my friends lynz & traci wanting adam and i to go to the bar with them. originally adam and i had the plan of listening to some live music with our rum n' cokes and then getting to bed around midnight so that we could wake up to play golf at 7:30 in the morning with my dad and brother.

well, we made it to back to adams house and in bed around 3:30am or 4:00am in the morning. my cell phone alarm went off @6:00am. i drug myself out of bed and tried to wake adam up with no avail. so i left to go wake up my brother who was staying at my grand parents house. he too was out rather late. i know this because i talked to him on the phone at 2:54am. he couldn't seem to wake up either. so just my dad and i played golf. i really enjoyed it and i did okay, but man was i tired.

later that night i hung out with my dad at his house that is out near the middle of no ware. being out there comes in handy because he can see forever in all for directions since north central texas is rather flat. with this ability we sat outside and watched fire works for about an hour and a half. it was very nice, and very peaceful. which was just what i needed.

Which Grade Of Gasoline Is Best?

2006-06-30T09:08:00.000-05:00

out of curiousity i did some research on which grade of gasoline was best to find out if using a higher grade would benefit my car. what i found out was suprising. what i found out was that there is no one grade, example 87, that is better than another, example 93. the octane rating has to do with the speed at which the fuel will burn. when a car engine is engineered it is designed to run on a particular ocatane, and will perform best on that ocatane of gas. using a different octane could potentially damage your car over a period of time by causing deposit build-ups and lower performance. if you are like me and you want a more detailed explanation. you can visit the link below.

what octane rating of gasoline should i use?

The Cobalt Season

2006-06-29T09:57:00.000-05:00

last night my church hosted a show by the cobalt season. i didn't have any expectations since i had never seen nor heard of them, but i'm all for hearing new music. especially from groups that i've never heard of. the group/band is comprised of ryan and holly sharp, husband and wife, and whoever might be joining them that evening.

i must say that i thoroughly enjoyed their performance last night. it was exactly as their website describes...

"The Cobalt Season emerges as a voice of hope and clarity amidst an apathetic consumer-driven society. Deconstructing the American Dream and all it's cronies (American religion, nationalism, corporatism, etc.), Ryan Lee Sharp paints impressions of a better way, a better day.
Sometimes with large brush strokes, sometimes with fine lines, Ryan and Holly Sharp (and whoever might be joining them that evening) create a live experience that isn't soon forgotten. From infuriating you to giving you hope, from deconstructing to reconstructing, you will remember your encounter with The Cobalt Season. Indie Folk Rock with a Social Conscience. Story-Driven Songs with Soul."

if you weren't present for their performance or if you've never heard of them. i recommend that you check them out. you can listen to some of their songs by visiting their myspace music page.

Shows That Won't Die

2006-06-28T10:04:00.000-05:00

this morning while looking on yahoo's home page at the yahoo pulse section i noticed that "days of our lives" was a show that people did a lot of searching for recently. i thought to my self, "do these soaps not die? they must have been around for 30 years." i can remember as a small child i would stay at my grand parents house when i was sick or if the daycare was closed on a day that my parents still had to work. i controlled the tv from 7am -11am, but from 11am - 2pm my grandma had the remote because her soaps where on. so i knew these shows had been around for at least 30 years, but that is where i was wrong. check out these dates...

the young and the restless - 1973 (33 years)
all my children - 1970 (36 years)
one life to live - 1968 (38 years)
days of our lives - 1965 (41 years)
another world - 1964 (42 years)
general hospital - 1963 (43 years)
as the world turns - 1956 (50 years)
guiding light - 1952 (54 years!) the television has barely been around that long!

This Song Moves Me

2006-06-27T11:33:00.000-05:00

a couple of years ago i bought the jars of clay album, furthermore: from the studio from the stage. it is a two disc album. disk one was recorded in the studio and disc two live. the last song on disk two really moves me. it is called "worlds apart". it is a very long and poetic song that last 10:52 on this disk. it was originally released in 1995 on their self titled jars of clay album. i've never heard the studio version, but i can't imagine it being better than the live version i have.

you can find a clip of it on amazon, but a clip doesn't really do it justice. also, here are the lyrics from the studio version. they vary slightly from the live version i have.

WORLDS APART

i am the only one to blame for this
somehow it all adds up the same
soaring on the wings of selfish pride
i flew too high and like icarus i collide
with a world i try so hard to leave behind
to rid myself of all but love
to give and die to turn away and not become
another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves
more deeply than the oceans
more abundant than the tears
of a world embracing every heartache

can i be the one to sacrifice
or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow

take my world apart
i am on my knees
take my world apart
broken on my knees

all said and done i stand alone
amongst remains of a life i should not own
it takes all i am to believe
in the mercy that covers me

did you really have to die for me
all i am for all you are
because what i need and what i believe are worlds apart
i look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
more and more i need you now
i owe you more each passing hour
the battle between grace and pride
i gave up not so long ago
so steal my heart and take the pain
and wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things i cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
the sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world all apart
take it now, take it now
and serve the ones that I despise
speak the words i can't deny
watch the world i used to love
fall to dust and thrown away
i look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
so wipe away the crimson stainsand
dull the nails that still remain
so steal my heart and take the pain
take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things i cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
take my world apart, take my world apart
i pray, i pray, i pray
take my world apart

Exclusive Invite

2006-06-25T11:01:00.000-05:00

last night i played poker with a group of guys, who shall remain nameless for my protection, in a hot garage in the lakewood area of dallas. i was honored to be the only guy out of seven at the table that didn't live within 3 miles of the previously mentioned location. i live 26 miles away to be exact. it was like i was invited to an exclusive club. really, for someone who lives north of two "loops" to be invited to east dallas (much less one) to play cards, that is saying something. i had a great time, i stayed within my limits of alcohol consumption (you have to when you live 26 miles away), and i only made a few out of control remarks, but none of which should keep me from being invited back. well, there was that one that made the two guys to my right a bit squeamish, but neither was the host. so i think i'm okay. i'm also happy to report that when all was said and done i walked away with a $6 profit, and that breaks my streak of 3 consecutive events of loosing all of my $20.

p.s. this is for the host....take my grievances with a grain of salt. okay, take one of them with a grain of salt. the one about the hot garage did hold some water, but that won't keep me from coming back if you feel so inclined to invite me.

First Movie Since 2005

2006-06-24T10:05:00.000-05:00

yesterday i went to watch the new adam sandler movie "click" with my brother, and i must say that i really enjoyed it. it was funny, sad (i was holding back tears), and the story had a good moral. it is a bit outlandish at times, but that that is what you get out of any sandler movie, and it has quite the cast. i recommend it for anyone 13+.

Respectfully Sad

2006-06-21T00:01:00.000-05:00

though i feel like this...

i'm still proud of...

and i have a lot of respect for these two...

Fun & Interesting Weekend

2006-06-19T23:18:00.000-05:00

my weekend started on friday night at monica's in deep ellum in dallas. there, was an alumni event for the art institute of dallas. it was my first alumni event to attend and i must say that it was pretty cool. the alumni coordinator had a contest for a $50 gift card to help us get to know each other. basically we had to complete a questionnaire by finding out facts about other alumni. two good things came of this. the first was i won the gift card! the second was that some of the people i met knew a friend of mine from school who couldn't make the dinner, but was going to meet up with the group at the dallas museum of art afterwards. after we all met at the dma we decided to ditch and go to fuse, a low-key, tex-asian, restaurant/bar in downtown dallas. it was great getting to catch up with my friend lauren and talk about what is knew in each other's life.

saturday morning i woke up @ 5am to drive to waco and help my friend, dj, of 19 year move. we started out cool and wet from the rain, but ended up hot and sweaty after the sun came out. later that evening we attended a poker party that had 23 players! we both had a good time. unfortunately we tied for 13th in the tournament by both going out on the same hand! on our way back to his placed i returned a call from my cousin audrey in wichita falls and found out that she wants me to go on a double date with her, her husband, and her roommate from college sometime in the near future. she said that she and her husband jeff have thought that me and her friend would make a good match. hey, i'm game. i decided a few months ago that i woud quit looking for women and just let my friends and family find'em for me. i guess it's working?

sunday evening i made it home in time to watch the mavs play game 5 in the nba finals i have to admit that i fell asleep at the beginning of the 4th quarter and missed the mavs overtime loss. which evidently had a couple of controversial moments? this morning when i watch the highlights on nba.com it looked like d-wade was in some kind of zone in the 4th. he barely looked like he was trying? i still think the mavs will win the series.

A Different Game Of Basketball

2006-06-14T17:42:00.000-05:00

i've never seen a european basketball game, but it must be quit a bit different style of play than a nba basketball game. what made me think of this was when the commentators for the nba finals commented on dirk nowitzki's great ball control for a big man. another big guy from over seas, that isn't quit the star that dirk is, but has great ball control is toni kukoc. being a bulls fan as a kid i was able to watch and marvel at toni, a 6-11 man, drive to the basket and shoot three pointers like your average guard.

here in america we tend to groom big players to be low block players. most of which can't drive to the basket from the top of the key or make a three pointer on a consistent basis, but we keep finding big men in europe that can. obviously they train their big men a bit different in europe. on the flip side these big men with ball control and a good shot can't control the paint quit like our american big men. at least not when they first come into the league, but i must say that dirk has gotten a lot better at that over the years.

a couple more examples of foreign big men with a shoot and some ball control are peja stojakovic and mehmet okur. i think this is a trend that will continue to grow and will really effect the way basketball is played in the years to come. as it is right now, teams really have difficulty guarding a player like dirk. if you stick a big man on him he will burn the guy on the way to the basket, and if you stick a smaller faster defender on him he will shoot the ball as if the guy wasn't even there or post up on him in the paint. i must say that i really admire these big men with skills other than dunking and rebounding.

Bubbly Water

2006-06-13T20:07:00.000-05:00

today i went grocery shopping for the sign company that i work for and the owner requested that i buy some perrier water. later in the afternoon i decided to try some of this perrier water for the first time. as i sat at my desk i asked my boss what was so special about the water? he said that it was basically carbonated water, and it is a big thing in europe. he said that if you order water in europe you will most likely get a bottle of it instead of regular water. he also said that he had never met anyone that neither liked it nor disliked it. so i opened the bottle and proceeded to consume the bubbly water. after drinking 1/3 of the bottle i thought i might be the first person that neither liked it nor disliked it, but after drinking 2/3 of the bottle i decided to pour the rest of it down the sink and join the rest of the people in the world that don't like this bubbly water. i really don't know what europeans see in this stuff?

Equally Yoked

2006-06-12T11:36:00.000-05:00

have you ever heard someone speak about being equally yoked and they brought up eggs? i know i have. i've always know what being equally yoked meant, but i have wondered what eggs had to do with it. i guess they were trying to be cute and think of some catchy way for people to remember the phrase equally yoked. i've watched ed young, jr. on sunday mornings now for a while and yesterday he spoke about being equally yoked. in doing so he gave the actual history behind the term equally yoked.

he said that back in the day when they used animals to pull plows they connected them with a device called a yoke. if a farmer didn't put two animals of equal strength in the yoke the plow wouldn't be pulled straight and they would veer off course. just as in a unequally yoked relationship. if you're not both following the same leader in life your destined to be pulled off course. now that i know the history of the phrase equally yoked, it makes so much more sense.

Pet Peeve

2006-06-09T09:44:00.000-05:00

last night i pulled into a texaco by near my home to fill up with gas. after swiping my card and selecting my fuel grade i started to pump gas into my car. for what ever reason it was pumping quite slow so i decided to wash my windows while i waited for it to finish. i walked to the nearest wash bucket and it dry. so then i walked to the other row of pumps to use that scrub brush instead, but it too was sitting in a dry bucket. this annoys the crap out of me. is it really that hard to keep water in the buckets? this is texas people. a place where either dust, bugs, or both cover your windshield most of the year. this makes it very un couth to have dry window washing buckets at a filling station. based on this experience i will probably not go back to this filling station.

Gotta Read The Fine Print

2006-06-07T22:46:00.000-05:00

after work today i went to the mall to get my hair cut. i always park outside of sears because it is the closest store to master cuts that has an external entrance to the mall. on my way out of the mall i of course walked through sears. as i passed the men's clothing section i couldn't help but see a couple of signs that said 90% off. like a bug to light i swarmed over to the 90% off racks. i spent about 20 minutes picking out 2 pair of jeans, 4 button up shirts, and 4 t-shirts. i was clearly about to buy over $300 worth of cloth for about $30. i take my pile up to the register and while the young clerk rings up my clothes i can't help but notice prices like $18.99 popping up on the screen. so i asked the guy why a $38 shirt that was 90% off would ring up as $18.99? he proceeds to tell me that the rack it came off of states that everything on the rack is up to 90% off. come to find out the words "up to" were about 9 pt type and the "90%" was about 150 pt type. obviously i overlooked the fine print. yet i didn't walk out of the store empty handed. i ended up buying 3 t-shirts for a grand total of $14.55 after tax.

Accomplishment, Beer, & The Coolest Sandals Ever

2006-06-06T21:46:00.000-05:00

i'm writing this post while drinking a beer, in celebration of passing my securities exams, that i opened with my new sandals. this past weekend i really wanted to drink some alcohol and hangout with friends, but i withheld due to the fact that i was studying for two securities exams that i had this week, one on monday and one today. what can i say? i didn't feel that alcohol would help me retain information or stay awake to study it. needless to say i passed both of my test. besides studying 35 hours for my test last week, i ordered a new pair of sandals online that have a functional bottle opener on the bottom of each sandal. so here is a picture of me celebrating passing my exams by opening a bottle of beer with one of my new sandals.

46,260 Miles

2006-06-04T11:37:00.000-05:00

when i bought my car on june 3rd of 2004 it had 8 miles on its odometer. 4 of which i put on it while test driving it. as of yesterday morning it had 46,264 miles on its odometer which means i've owned it for 46,260 miles. which is officially the longest i've ever owned a car as far as mileage is concerned. i drove my first automobile 33k miles before selling it to my grand parents to tow behind their motor home. i drove my second automobile 42k before it was stolen and chopped for parts. the vehicle i replace it with made it 23k before i traded it in, and i only drove its replacement 9k before i dumped it due to high gas prices.

taking into consideration my budget and my desire to not have a car payment for life, i will say that 46,260 miles is just the beginning of my new record. who knows, maybe i'll break my highest mileage record with it too? though i am 119k away from it.

Skin to Advertise Cloths

2006-06-03T07:41:00.000-05:00

last night i went to the mall with my brother chad. he being 20 and into the latest college student trends wanted to go to abercrombie and fitch. i've been in there a few times in my life and i always wonder if they would sale more clothes if there ads had models wearing their clothes. you know, as oppose to wearing no clothes. when i look at a picture of a fit guy topless in a picture from the waste up i don't think of buying abercrombie and fitch clothes. i think working out. maybe they should add a gym to their stores?

A Fun Long Weekend

2006-05-30T09:17:00.000-05:00

folks, i'm here to tell you that i had an awesome weekend. it all started on friday night when i went to see monte montgomery in concert @ the granada on lower greenville. i had no idea who he was, but my employer had bought all us employees ticket to go see monte with him so i was game. monte is an amazing guitarist and when he comes back to town i'm all for seeing him again.

saturday i attended a picnic with my financial planning team and i had a blast. we ate wonderful food, played frisbee, football, and volleyball. i had a lot of fun, but it sure did wear me out. somehow i also got sunburn only on my feet. i'm still trying to figure this one out because i didn't have sun block on any part of my body, and i spent most of the day in the shade.

monday was my friend z's pool party. once again i had an awesome time. there was good food, even better company, and i think the most fun was karaoke revolution. that game was wild. i didn't do to good @ it, but i sure did have a ton of fun.

A Time To Stop, & Remember

2006-05-26T18:27:00.000-05:00

The United States of America

It started as a thought,
then it became a whisper.
As people talked
it became a dream.
There dreams combined
to create a movement.
Resistance was added
and a war beget.
With valor, hope,
and determination,
the war was won
and a country was formed.
Lines were drawn
and sides were taken.
Friend against friend,
brother against brother.
After death and time,
again became one.
Bonds were formed,
and lands protected,
but at a cost of life
that we shall not forget.
On the last Monday of May
we stop, we remember.
On this day in May
we remember not to forget.

-J. Lay

Pain

2006-05-25T22:02:00.000-05:00

the pain will come.

which will you feel?

the pain of change?

or

the pain of regret?

Say Good By To TV

2006-05-24T22:42:00.000-05:00

i have several goals and dreams for my life and i feel that there are things holding me back from achieving those goals and dreams. something that is dramatically effecting my progress is tv. that's right, the boob tube. i find myself loosing time watching shows on tv that in no way are enhancing my life. i have test to study for, a business to work, and an apartment that needs some serious organization, but instead of doing any of the three i find myself zoned out in front of my tv. it is as if it is an addiction. how do you get rid of an addiction? well, you start by getting away from that which you are addicted. so tonight i turned off my tv with no intention of turning it back on for a good while.

I'm Being Chased By Beautiful Women!

2006-05-23T18:49:00.000-05:00

okay, i'm exaggerating a bit. what i am being chased by is victoria secret. two and a half years ago i ordered a victoria secret gift card online and gave it as a christmas present to a friend. soon after i started receiving emails and catalogs from the company. i finally got them to quit sending me emails, but i have yet to stop the catalogs. i've called them and asked to be off their mailing list. i've even moved to a new address since i ordered the gift card, but somehow they get a hold of my new address and continue to send me mail. do i mind getting catalogs full of beautiful woman? not so much, but i do mind them killing trees to send me catalogs that i will never buy anything from. all it does is go from my mail box to my recycling bin.

It Is All About Who You Know

2006-05-22T22:27:00.000-05:00

friday night my younger brother, chad, calls me on the phone to thank me for knowing a guy named jeff in high school. jeff was a grade below me and we knew who each other were and shared common friends, but the two of us never became friends. i always considered him to be a good guy and i guess he felt the same about me. evidently i have enough credibility with jeff to get my brother off the hook for driving his new mustang gt 93 mph in a 70 mph zone. it turns out that jeff is an officer out in the lubbock area and pulled my brother over for speeding. while checking out chad's information he ask him if he had a brother, and chad said yes, jason. they talked for a moment and jeff told chad that he was going to let him go with a verbal warning because is my brother!

i think that was very nice of jeff and i do appreciate him doing that for my brother, but i'm not sure if this really helped my brother out in the long run. getting off the hook then just meant that he would get caught some other time, and guess what. that other time was two days later. chad called me today to look up the price of a radar detector on the internet. after i tell him the price of the radar detector he proceeds to tell me that he got a speeding ticket 20 miles away from home. 70 mph in a 55 mph zone. you would think that he would be drive a bit slower for now on, but instead he goes out and buys a device to help him detect our law enforcers attempting to catch him in the act.

i'm not knocking my brother speeding. i do it all the time. i am knocking his choice of speeds to drive. you can find me driving 75 mph in 60 mph zones up and down 35E or I635 most weekends, but i know i'm allowed to. how do i know? well, i've passed many police cars while driving this speed and all they do is watch me go by. there are several areas of dfw i won't drive 15 mph over the posted limit much less 20-25 mph over because i know i'd be toast. what i'm saying is i still drive within the unspoken limits, but my brother blatantly drives his 300 hp beast at speeds that will get him a ticket. the ticket he received this past weekend was his one freebie. he will pay $130 and take defensive driving to keep it from affecting his insurance premium, but the next one won't be so kind. i don't know all of the officers out there and his radar detector won't always save him.

Quotes From This Weekend

2006-05-21T13:27:00.000-05:00

while at a conference this weekend i heard a few quotes that i really liked.

1. "success and failure hinge on whether we can overcome ourselves."

2. "what is hard to do is often right. what is easy to do is often wrong."

3. "a big step towards achieving your goals is facing your fears."

4. "everybody wants to change the world, but no one wants to change them self."

5. "any price we ask of life, life is willing to pay."

6. "enthusiasm is a people magnet. if you want people to follow you, be enthusiastic. light yourself on fire and people will come and watch you burn."

7. "be patient with your results, but urgent with your actions."

8. "you attract what you are not what you want. if you want to attract the right people you must become the right person."

9. "FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real."

10. "it is hard to make love to a hungry woman."