"Should've Been A Cowboy"

Monday, December 19, 2005

Woman's Breast Bumped Out of Shirt

that got your attention now didn't it. very tabloidable, but very true.

yesterday i drove my car into the back of someone else’s car. this was a very small accident. i couldn't have been going over 3 mph. i had come to a complete stop at a yielding turn behind a man, his wife and teenage daughter. all riding in a fairly new green toyota camary. we both watched a car go by and as he started to move forward i looked over my left shoulder so that i could merge behind the approaching car. i let off the break and started to roll forward and BAM! yes i said BAM. even though i was only traveling 3 mph my 2500 pound corolla made a loud noise when it hit the 3000 pound camary. evidently he second guessed his initial reaction and decided to stop, and needless to say i wasn't aware of his change of plans. that is what i get for assuming he was gone.

both my victims and i pulled over to the side of the road which we were only five yards from. as he got out of his car i took my sun glasses off, took my insurance out of my glove compartment and said the words "son of a b****, f***!" it was a this point that i too got out of my car. i quickly apologized and we shook hands. as he bent over to look at his bumper he said " i really don't see anything wrong. are you okay?" i couldn't help but think... why are you asking if i'm okay? i hit you, but my reply was yes i'm fine. then his wife got out of the car and said that i scared her. i admitted to her that i scared myself.

with a semi shaky hand i gave the man my extra insurance card incase he needed it. then he asked for my phone number. so i gave him my business card with my cell phone number on it. surprisingly he gave me back my insurance card shortly after i gave him my business card. if i was in his shoes i would have kept the insurance card. i was bumped by another car in october of 2004 while driving home in the rain from the state fair. at that time i glanced at my bumper and told the guy that it was not big deal and quickly got back in my car and out of the rain. only later did i notice a scratch on my bumper the size of a nickel. i know that is small, but i had only owned my brand new car 4 months and it drove me nuts to have the scratch on my car. even though i would have taken the insurance card. i'm glad that he didn't think it was a big deal and hasn't called me yet to tell me that he changed his mind.

this isn't my first time to bump into someone at a yielding turn. back in 2001 i bumped a lady in much of the same fashion that i bumped the man yesterday, but the events that followed where much different.

after bumping the lady we both pulled into the gas station that was next to the scene of the accident. as i got out of my car i watched a semi heavy set black woman get out of the car. she was wearing tight capri style jeans, a wife beater shirt and a jean jacket. just as with the man i apologized for my wrong and we both started to look at the damage. i rubbed my finger across the mark my bumper made and told the lady that i could buff it out myself and asked where she lived. turns out she lived in the same apartment complex that i did, and it was at that point i gave her my name and number. to make sure that i was right about the damage she proceeded to bend over and rub the mark herself.

then next think i know her right breast falls out the side of her wife beater! i simply stood there in shock wondering if i was on some kind of prank tv show. i couldn't help but question if this was really happening. she quickly put her breast back in her shirt and covered up with her jacket. followed by a quick shuffle back to the inside of her car. as she shuffled away she told me that she would give me a call if she needed me to fix her car.

so i got back and my truck and just sat there for a moment. i sat in complete astonishment over what just happened. I GOT AWAY WITH HITTING A WOMAN'S CAR BECAUSE HER RIGHT BREAST FELL OUT THE SIDE IF HER SHIRT! in the word of my friend mol jr., OFF! later that day as i drove through my apartment parking lot on the way to my apartment i noticed the woman's car. as i drove past i took a look at her bumper and noticed that it was already fixed. obviously she didn't want anything to do with me after her wardrobe malfunction.


At 12/19/2005 11:46 AM, Blogger The Monkey Attack Victim said...

Your wreck encounters have been much better than mine. But it hilarious that you got out of paying for the damage because her breast attempted to escape.

Ladies. Bras. They are your friends.

At 12/19/2005 11:17 PM, Blogger linz said...

That might be one of the best wreck stories I've heard in quite awhile.


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