Ordinary; Not My Cup Of Tea

i'm back in dfw after spending 3 days and nights in my home town of burkburnett, tx. sometimes i wonder why i'm even in dfw. i do so enjoy being with my family and long time friends back home, and i constantly hear, "when are you coming home", "wish you didn't have to leave so soon", and "when will you be back". these are hard words to hear because i to want to be back. so what keeps me in the "big d"? i can summarize it in one word, opportunity. that is something that my home town can't offer me. i'm in dfw to be somebody. i think most people just want to be somebody. most people want to make a difference and be a meaningful part of society. i'm not saying that someone who lives in my hometown can't do that. honestly i think i would move back there if it wasn't for the opportunity to own my own business helping families become debt free and financially independent. i'm finding out that trying to be somebody is hard work and takes a great amount of desire and discipline. i'm finding that the discipline is just as important as the desire, and that i need work in that area of my life.

i have good friends hear in dallas, but on a friend scale of 1 to 10 i would only give them a 6 or maybe a 7. i wouldn't consider any to be real close to me, but they are good friends and i can see that they would make excellent close friends. i feel that is partially my fault. i lived with my friend brad for just over 5 years and we never got too close. i guess i don't feel the need or for extremely close friends in dallas because i've had that spot filled for nearly 19 years by my two best friends adam and dj, and i've found a third one in my younger brother chad. i might live two hours north of one and two hours south of the other two, but the connection is still strong 6 years after me moving away.

being back in my small town made me think about what it would be like to settle down and be an ordinary person living an ordinary life. for a second i thought, "man, i could so do that", but all to quickly i thought, "no, it would drive me nuts thinking what might have been or what could i have done." being ordinary just isn't my cup of tea, and right now i feel ordinary. this doesn't mean i'm not happy. it just means that i'm not content. now all i need is the discipline to do something about it.