"Should've Been A Cowboy"

Friday, December 30, 2005

Bummed Replaced By Worry

my bummed state has been replaced by a state of worry. though i've never met melissa in person i feel that i've developed a friendship with her over the phone. when a friend doesn't return your calls or emails you can't help but be worried. at this point i would rather her flip me the bird and tell me to bug off than not hear from her at all. at least that way i know she is okay and my mind can rest at ease.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Bummed and Confused

i'm a bit bummed at the moment. i'm also a bit confused. you see, two months ago i met a girl via match.com named melissa. i had to work hard to get her to pay me any attention, and it paid off. over the last five weeks we have had several good telephone conversations and a few more via AIM. during the past three weeks we have scheduled three different first dates. the first of which was rescheduled due to her being sick. the second was rescheduled on behalf of a pipe bursting in my apartment and her still being sick. the third date was canceled because her brother surprised her family by flying in from arizona the day that our date was scheduled.

it was at this point that i told her that i understood her reason for canceling and that i would have done the same thing if i were her, and i promised i would call her after christmas to find out how her holiday went. as i promised i called her on monday night, but was only able to leave a voice mail. tuesday i called and didn't leave a message. instead i sent her an email asking about her holiday weekend and told her about mine. wednesday i sent her a picture of a bouquet of flowers since i didn't know her home or work address, and i also called that night, but no answer.

so now it is thursday morning. i sit here typing this post in a bummed and confused. i’m bummed because i feel ignored and confused because i thought things were going good. i'm starting to wonder if she had a change of heart over the holiday or maybe, like a lot of women, feels bad for telling a guy to leave her alone and is just ignoring me while hoping that i quietly go away. i can't help but wonder if she would have given me the telephone number to the rejection hotline when i asked for hers. (the rejection hotline is real and very funny) i could be all wrong about this. she might just be extremely busy do to missing so much work before christmas and has a lot on her plate this week. never the less, i would at least like an email telling me this. i have even wondered if something may have happened to her, but that idea is canceled out by the fact that i saw her on AIM a couple of nights ago and sent her a message that never got a reply.

i've been dating online for three years now and i've seen this pattern before. the difference this time is that through our many conversations i've allowed myself to develop a longing to meet her. i can't help be think about her often and wonder what she is like in person. i know she is very beautiful because of the fifteen or so photos she has sent me, and i know we have had good chemistry over the phone and AIM. i now sit here wondering if i'll ever get a chance to find out if we have any real life chemistry. i’m also wondering how i allowed myself to develop this longing for her. i guess that’s the romantic in me. i’m told that being willing to fall flat on your face in pursuit of love is an attribute of a romantic. i fell hard on my face a few years back and have been successful in avoiding it again. i’m not head over heals in love with melissa. heck, i’ve never even met her, but i can feel myself stumbling. I wouldn’t say I’m about to fall on my face again, but i might still skin my hands and knees.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Motivation Killer

the temporary position that i've been filling at the bank is quite boring. i'm four months into the five month job and i must say that it is extremely hard for me to motivate myself to do my work. this morning, like every other morning, i started working way after my scheduled start time, about two hours after to be precise. it doesn't always talk me that long. normally only an hour or so, but yesterday and today have been a bit different. maybe it was the christmas break that did it to me. any how, two hours after i started actually working the mainframe that i work with was taken offline for some quick maintenance. this my friend is a major motivation killer. i now have about fifty minutes until my lunch break and i'm not sure how much i can motivate myself to do. i was told about two minutes ago that the mainframe is back online, but here i am typing away on my blog. if they only knew the damage they have done.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Christmas Break

i haven't posted anything in a week, but i guess we have to take a break from everything now and again. actually i would have loved to have written about my christmas break, but when i'm in my hometown visiting my family my internet access is limited.

even though i have lots that i could ramble on and on about i'll just give a simple recap of my christmas break. for me it started on friday. i got up early and drove the 130 mile drive to my home town on the border of texas and oklahoma. i really looked forward to that day because i love shopping for cars and my brother, who just got back from iraq, was in need of a car. we test drove a few cars. first the nissan titan. nice, but not my brother's cup of tea. next was the mustang gt. this is a sweet ride my friends. sporty, insanely fast, a smokin' 1000 watt sound system, and a surprisingly quiet and smooth ride. following the mustang we stuck with american muscle by testing the dodge charger. sleek, smooth, fast, a bit pricy, and according to my brother it was too much like a family car. after that we hit the foreign market again by driving a mazda rx-8. very sporty, quick, turns on a dime, but it felt like you were riding in a buggy through the parking lot of a local retail store. in the end my brother made the right choice by choosing this mustang gt.

he let me drive it a couple of times and i could see myself in one if i had the money to throw around, but i think i'll stick with my fuel efficient corrolla that gets 10 mpg better fuel economy than the mustang gt.

later that friday afternoon my brother, my dad, and i had spent half an hour corraling my dad's jackass that had jumped two barbed wire fences because he was horny. it was because if this my dad and i spent a couple of hours on saturday adding 18 inch extensions to the standard 4 foot barbed wire fence.

both friday and saturday night my brother and i went out with some friends to a couple of local bars. friday we went to one that i had never been too and may never again. saturday we went to our normal hangout called the west end. where we did the usual beer and pool. we where disappointed when we found out that our favorite bar tender had the night off, but i was happy she had the night off because i felt she deserved it.

sunday we had christmas breakfast at my aunt and uncle's house where a few presents were given. i even received a few gifts even though i didn't want to. i love the gifts and will put them into good use. heck i'm wearing some of them right now. i just didn't want any gifts because i couldn't afford to buy gifts this year due to some bad credit card decisions that i had made over the past few years. also i personally feel that christmas isn't about exchanging gifts, but about giving to those who are less fortunate than we are. interestingly enough some my best gifts weren't given to me as christmas gifts. they were just random things that members of my family couldn't use or didn't need that i really liked and could put to good use. i got a pair of boots that my grandpa gave my dad and my dad had to give to me because they fit him a bit too tight. my brother gave me his extra pair of winterized military boots that he get from his tour in iraq, and my cousin gave me a sweet indiana jones looking hat that he picked up during his trip to peru a few months back.

monday my brother and i spent the afternoon checking out digital video cameras for the ski trip that he wants to take within the next few months. we found one that is small and can be strapped to his head while he is snow boarding, and it wasn't that expensive either. all in all i had a wonderful christmas break because i was able to spend quality time with my family, and is all i really wanted for christmas.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Darwin and Intelligent Design Curriculum

i had a friend email me and told me that they were disturbed by the ruling of a pennsylvania judge on the subject of the biology curriculum in a certain school district. this was my reply to their email.

simply going by what i've heard on tv and read online. i'm okay with the courts decision to remove intelligent design from it's science curriculum and create an elective class on the subject. i support this because intelligent design a/k/a creationism isn't science. it is God. it is a miracle, and something that science can't explain. due to us not being able to explain the miracle of creationism scientifically we must rely on our faith in God to believe in it.

also, what is the church for? why would it bother us that intelligent design is being removed from school? if we as christians do our due diligence in being a disciple to our children and spreading the word of God, we should not care that they teach the theory of darwin in public schools. if anything being taught one subject at school and another opinion of the subject at church or at home would help our children learn that they can't take everything at face value. it would help teach our children to keep an open mind, how to deal with confusion, how to debate with peers, and teach them to analyze information in order to come up with their own opinions.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Artist or Problem Solver?

yesterday afternoon i had a meeting with a home building company know as Casa Bella. they are a small company that builds around 100 homes a year, and like most other companies they are looking to grow. that is where i come in. Casa Bella has never paid money for marketing and now feels that they have a small budget to do so.

though i have a goal of owning my own financial advisory office, i'm not in a position to give up a full time job just yet. on top of that i feel the need to prepare for my pre-determined termination from the bank that i work for. i have a degree in graphic arts and i still enjoy graphic arts. also, like most people, i could use some extra money now and again. in order to fulfill my need for money and graphic design experience that will help me land a job outside of banking. i browsed the job board at The Art Institute of Dallas, of which i'm an alumni, and found the freelance opportunity posted by Casa Bella.

they are in need of a new corporate identity package (logo, business card, letterhead, and envelope) as well as a brochure for a promotional piece. the way they are going about getting their needs met is by holding a competition. i'm one of a few artist that are working on a package for them. the artist that makes the package that they like the most will be paid $1000 for their work.

personally i feel that i have a good shot of winning them over. i say this because after talking to them via phone on friday i got them to extend the deadline of the contest from yesterday until this coming friday. i feel that they pushed it back because i impressed them with my questions about what the company is trying to accomplish.

though graphic design is a form of art. i can't and won't call it pure art. pure art to me is a creation that is fueled solely by an artist's idea, passion and emotion. it is what the artist envisions and normally doesn't have anyone else’s interest or input involved. graphic design involves the creativity of an artist, but requires that the artist focus on solving a problem. a communication problem. graphic art is used to communicate a message to a certain group of people. not only does a graphic artist have to come up with a design that communicates to a certain group of people, but it must be within a budget, done in a very short amount of time, conform to preset limits determined by the client as well as pleasing to the client regardless of whether you think it is the best idea or not.

typically the client's idea of what would work best isn't the same as the designer's idea. if the designer cannot sale his idea to the client then the designer must do their best to bring the clients idea to life, and most of the time the client can't put their idea into words. much less illustrate it. which means the designer needs to know the right questions to ask. questions such as who is your audience? what are the core values of the company? how do you want the public to view the company, trendy, elegant, tough, fast, ect? thus i see a graphic designer as more of a problem solver than an artist.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Woman's Breast Bumped Out of Shirt

that got your attention now didn't it. very tabloidable, but very true.

yesterday i drove my car into the back of someone else’s car. this was a very small accident. i couldn't have been going over 3 mph. i had come to a complete stop at a yielding turn behind a man, his wife and teenage daughter. all riding in a fairly new green toyota camary. we both watched a car go by and as he started to move forward i looked over my left shoulder so that i could merge behind the approaching car. i let off the break and started to roll forward and BAM! yes i said BAM. even though i was only traveling 3 mph my 2500 pound corolla made a loud noise when it hit the 3000 pound camary. evidently he second guessed his initial reaction and decided to stop, and needless to say i wasn't aware of his change of plans. that is what i get for assuming he was gone.

both my victims and i pulled over to the side of the road which we were only five yards from. as he got out of his car i took my sun glasses off, took my insurance out of my glove compartment and said the words "son of a b****, f***!" it was a this point that i too got out of my car. i quickly apologized and we shook hands. as he bent over to look at his bumper he said " i really don't see anything wrong. are you okay?" i couldn't help but think... why are you asking if i'm okay? i hit you, but my reply was yes i'm fine. then his wife got out of the car and said that i scared her. i admitted to her that i scared myself.

with a semi shaky hand i gave the man my extra insurance card incase he needed it. then he asked for my phone number. so i gave him my business card with my cell phone number on it. surprisingly he gave me back my insurance card shortly after i gave him my business card. if i was in his shoes i would have kept the insurance card. i was bumped by another car in october of 2004 while driving home in the rain from the state fair. at that time i glanced at my bumper and told the guy that it was not big deal and quickly got back in my car and out of the rain. only later did i notice a scratch on my bumper the size of a nickel. i know that is small, but i had only owned my brand new car 4 months and it drove me nuts to have the scratch on my car. even though i would have taken the insurance card. i'm glad that he didn't think it was a big deal and hasn't called me yet to tell me that he changed his mind.

this isn't my first time to bump into someone at a yielding turn. back in 2001 i bumped a lady in much of the same fashion that i bumped the man yesterday, but the events that followed where much different.

after bumping the lady we both pulled into the gas station that was next to the scene of the accident. as i got out of my car i watched a semi heavy set black woman get out of the car. she was wearing tight capri style jeans, a wife beater shirt and a jean jacket. just as with the man i apologized for my wrong and we both started to look at the damage. i rubbed my finger across the mark my bumper made and told the lady that i could buff it out myself and asked where she lived. turns out she lived in the same apartment complex that i did, and it was at that point i gave her my name and number. to make sure that i was right about the damage she proceeded to bend over and rub the mark herself.

then next think i know her right breast falls out the side of her wife beater! i simply stood there in shock wondering if i was on some kind of prank tv show. i couldn't help but question if this was really happening. she quickly put her breast back in her shirt and covered up with her jacket. followed by a quick shuffle back to the inside of her car. as she shuffled away she told me that she would give me a call if she needed me to fix her car.

so i got back and my truck and just sat there for a moment. i sat in complete astonishment over what just happened. I GOT AWAY WITH HITTING A WOMAN'S CAR BECAUSE HER RIGHT BREAST FELL OUT THE SIDE IF HER SHIRT! in the word of my friend mol jr., OFF! later that day as i drove through my apartment parking lot on the way to my apartment i noticed the woman's car. as i drove past i took a look at her bumper and noticed that it was already fixed. obviously she didn't want anything to do with me after her wardrobe malfunction.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

My Brother & The Yellow Ribbon

i've been wearing this yellow ribbon most everyday for almost a year now. i started wearing in january. i can't remember the exact date, but i can tell you it was the day that my brother left for iraq. i can say with pure joy that today is the last day that i plan on wearing it. i say this because my bother arrived at fort sill, oklahoma this morning around 11:30am.

it was hard to see my 19 year old, now 20, brother leave for iraq. not as hard as it was for my mom, dad, aunt, or grandma. mainly because i live two hours from my home town and don't get to see him that often anyway. another reason was that he wasn't going over there to be a combat soldier. he was only going to be working on a military base in taji doing misc. chores. i would say the only thing that bothered me about him leaving was how much it affected him and the rest of my family. this isn't because i don't care about my brother. i love him dearly and would have took his place if i could have. we get along quite well, at least for the past five years we have. before that is a different story.

even though he was scared and didn't want to go to iraq. now that he has been there he is happy that he did. on top of experiencing new things, he was paid a little over 30k tax free for his duties and didn't have to pay for food, rent, or utilities. i was talking to him a few months ago and he was pondering the idea of going back to iraq to work as a civilian because companies like haliburton pay big bucks for people who do, but after a while he decided that he missed home to much to do that.

on this day, the day of my brother's return, i made the decision to work instead of attending his welcome home ceremony at fort sill. i would have liked to of been there to welcome him home, but by working today i get off this coming friday. i get to spend the whole day hanging out with my brother. which i think is much better than watching him participate in a welcome home ceremony. don't you agree?

Friday, December 16, 2005

Shamelessly Promoting Myself

something not everyone knows about me is that i enjoy photography. i mainly enjoy photographing nature because it doesn't gripe or complain when i take it's photo, but people can also be fun at times. if you like this photo....
you're in luck because, in mol fashion, i created a blog dedicated to displaying photos taken by none other than me.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

All I Need Is Time

yesterday i wanted to stop by target to buy some dishwashing detergent, but when i took my exit i went the wrong direction. with traffic the way it was i decided to keep going in the direction i was heading and buy my detergent from the devil we call wal-mart. when i first walked into wal-mart i was on a mission. i walked straight to the detergent, picked it up, and started back to the front. then the urge to walk by electronics hit me. the uncontrollable urge to walk to the other side of the store so that i could look at movies and music. i took a quick glance at the music and decided that wasn't what i was interested in. next i started looking at the movies. believe it or not wal-mart has actually raised the prices of their new releases to $19.96. obviously i wasn't going to buy one at that price. what ever happened to $14.76 or $15. 86? from there i decided i would check out the older dvds first i hit the $13.50 section and quickly moved on to the $9.44 section. for some reason i picked up the movie "walking tall" staring the rock. then i moved onto the $5.50 bin. this is this most unorganized bin you will ever see, but it has some great deals if you're willing to dig.

since i had nowhere else to be i decided to organize the bin while i sifted through it. this way i could keep track of what i had and hadn't looked at. about 15 minutes into my sifting i had picked out 3 movies, short circuit, blade, and 60 classic cartoons. at this point my $6 detergent trip has increased to a $34 trip. have you ever picked up something at the store and walked around the store so long that you end up coming to your senses and put it back? i know i have many times. this day was no different. 20 minutes, and a half organized bin later i had put back all four dvds. it was at this time i happily made my way to the check-out counter to pay for my detergent. i would have liked to had bought those movies as well as several more from the more expensive racks, but sometimes all i need is time to come to my senses and realize that i don't need to indulge my materialistic tendencies. especially when i don't have gobs of money to waste of things like that.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Back To The Grind

i'm going back to the daily grind after six glorious days away from it. i thank God for vacation days. if it wasn't for them some of us wouldn't make it. i also thank God that my job isn't that bad. speaking of jobs, i applied for ten jobs on tuesday via monster.com. nine graphic design jobs and one photo editing job. i still love my part-time job as a financial advisor, but i'm not making enough at the moment to make it a full time gig. since my full time job at the bank ends january 31st i'm looking for a new full time job. i could easily find another job in banking. whether it be at the same bank or a different bank, but i'm want out of banking. so if anyone hears of an opportunity please let me know about it. as long as it doesn't involve banking or mortgage loans because these industries intrude on my licensing as a financial advisor.

i would say the highlight of my vacation was being able to ride my bike. i was able to ride it on monday and tuesday. monday was an easy day of riding through coppell. i only rode for an hour and a half. which means i might have ridden twelve miles. tuesday i rode for two and a half hours and covered twenty miles of lewisville and flowermound. half, the second half, of which was against the wind. though it was tough i still enjoyed it. i know that ride must have worn me out because i slept nearly eleven hours that night, and i hardly ever sleep more than eight when i sleep in.

here is a map of my ride on tuesday.

Monday, December 12, 2005

My First Trophy

saturday night was eventful. at 5:45 i was supposed to be a my work's christmas party in cedar hill, forty miles south of my home, off of highway 67. traffic was a bit troublesome on the way there and i was fifteen minutes late. that's not too big of a deal, but like me and unlike my church, everything we do starts on time. we had a great little tex-mex restaurant cater our party and i enjoyed good conversation and a competitive game of pictionary, men vs. women.

at 7:30 i quietly exited the party, stage right. the next party i was to attend was my church's christmas party that officially started at 7:00. as i hinted at earlier my church's events don't start on time. so it was okay for me to be late for it. i figured i would travel the forty some odd miles between the two parties in about thirty minutes, unfortunately it didn't happen due to a car accident on interstate 35. to catch up on some lost time i drove 80 to 85 mph the whole way there, and i arrived slightly tense from driving like speed racer at 8:15.

i love my church's christmas parties. we have a tradition of bringing something that we already own that represents or means something special to you. the gift giving, or in this case selecting, begins with a random person choosing a gift out of a pile of gifts around the tree. Whoever brought the gift then tells everyone about it and what it means to them. i really take this event to heart, but that doesn't make it any easier to part with something sentimental. i try to constantly remind myself how material objects are not as important as we think they are. this year i choose to give away my first trophy.

i received my first trophy at the age of eight for playing soccer. it was the fall of 1988 and our team wasn't good at all. i believe we won 1 of 8 games that season. thus, my trophy was a consolation trophy that was bought by our parents. i must say that it was the nicest consolation trophy i ever received. it stands about 14 inches tall on a marble base. it is topped with two plastic soccer players that are coated with a reflective gold paint. the middle or stem of the trophy was made of solid wood that had a mahogany finish. to the side of and 10 inches below the soccer players atop of the wooden stem was a plastic soccer ball painted with the same gold paint. last but not least, it displayed a brass plate across the front of the marble that read, "scramblers 1988" on the top line and "jason" underneath it.

to me that trophy represents the beginning of a joyful era in my life. it not only was the beginning of my five year, 10 season soccer career, but the beginning of my childhood career as an athlete. i would have played soccer longer than five years, but my dad said i could only play two sports at a time. at age 12 i was playing both soccer and basketball. in the end i made the decision to give up soccer so that i could play what became my favorite sport, baseball. all in all that trophy might not have been like other trophies which i have received. other trophies display achievement or symbolize victory, but there is just something about the first of anything, whether it be one's first car or first kiss. it might not be the best you'll ever have, but it's still your first, and that's something special.

My Friday Coffee Date

friday was a fairly relaxing day even though my feng shui was a bit off with all of my furniture piled into my dinning room and bedroom. that evening i had coffee with tanya who i met through yahoo's online dating service. i had fun talking with her and i assume she enjoyed talking with me since we talked for one hour and forty minutes. despite my attraction to her and the fact that we have quite a lot in common, i don't think i will pursue a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with her. there is a religious belief that i feel is a bit to big for two people to have and be dating or married. throughout our many conversations via email and telephone, and our lengthy coffee date, i get the sound impression that she is devote to the Lord. which is something that i'm looking for in a woman, but the kicker is that she feels the bible doesn't allow women to hold leadership positions in church. i'm an easy going guy and this might not be such an issue if i didn't go to a church i love. a church with a woman pastor and women in leadership. her feelings about this caused me to do some research on the subject. after reading six different articles/essays on the subject i have to say that i'm still pro women in leadership, but i do think that tonya and i could be great friends and i will definitely purse that relationship with her. 20 minutes after my coffee date with tonya i called melissa, my coffee date that got canceled on thursday night. i met melissa via msn's online dating service, match.com. we talked on the phone for over an hour. i think i've had six phone conversations with melissa. five of which lasted more than an hour. on top of that i've chatted with her via AIM a couple of times. one for over an hour and another for over four hours. needless to say we enjoy conversing. i've discovered that we have similar interest, opinions, and beliefs. i don't want to speak to soon, but when i compare her to the previous fourteen women i've met via the internet, there's something different. i'm not saying that i think she's the one. i am saying that i feel that she has some real potential and i am very anxious to meet her in person. since we have had so many conversations i want to skip the "safe" coffee date and move on to a more "risky" date of dinner and pete's dueling piano bar. it is said that the best first date with someone you've met online is over something simple. such as coffee, tea, or ice cream. this is so you can easily make an escape if things are going in all the wrong directions, but i can't say that i see that happening.

Friday, December 09, 2005

Copper Pipe Changes Plans

yesterday i showed up late to work, two hours late. i was told the day before that this would be okay if i felt that the roads were to bad to show up at 7 am like i normally do. when my alarm clock went off at 5 am all i could hear was 35 south this and 35 south that. so i decided to go ahead and sleep in. after going to work late and finishing my work i decided to leave fifteen minutes early. which was a good thing for me. better than i knew at the time, and here's why.

i arrived home to find that a pipe had burst in my laundry/cloths closet. judging the amount of water on the floor and the speed at which it was shooting out of the wall, it couldn't have broken more than 15 minutes prior to my arrival. yes folks i said the water was shooting. the presure was so strong that it tore a hole in the sheetrock and was spraying into the closet. i did my best forest gump impression and quickly ran to my complex office and told them about the pipe and they said the would send someone right away. then i forest gumped it back to my apartment. it just so happened that i knew where the shut off valve was due to a prior problem a few months ago, and i went outside and turned off the water. it's a really good thing that i knew where it was because the maintenance man didn't come until 30 minutes later! my whole apartment would have been flooded by then.

never the less i had to cancel my coffee date last night. that was probably for the better since she wasn't feeling good that day or the day before for that matter. after shutting off the water i spent the next 3 hours moving and drying furniture, from my living room. moping my bathroom and kitchen, and watching the carpet guys clean my carpet. thankfully my friend, will, and his wife let me stay the night at their place a couple miles away from my apartment. i hadn't talked to will in over three months and i hate the fact that it took a small disaster to make it happen. this is the second time that i've had to stay at his house because of a
utility problem. i totally own him dinner.

because of this my five day weekend will now be a six day weekend. i told my boss that i wouldn't be coming into work today. mostly because i need to be home for the carpet guys and plumber. turns out the plumber came last night after i left. i'm sure this had something to do with the fact that the maintenance man said the valve i turned off provided water for my entire building.

here are some photos of my adventure.

the pipe that burst

the shutoff valve

the closet

living room

fan hard at work

temporary relocation

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Coffee Dates

i must say that i'm excited today. i'm full of anticipation towards my coffee date that i have tonight. i've been a participant in online dating for three years now. in those three years i've met thirteen women. tonight will make fourteen and tomorrow will make fifteen. that's right i have a date on two back to back nights with two different women named melissa and tonya respectively. out of the first thirteen i went on one date with eleven of them, two dates with one of them, and four with another.

at this moment i'm quite optimistic about meeting melissa tonight. that is something i couldn't have said a week ago. towards the end of october i sent a free message to melissa. we exchanged a couple of emails and then she seemed to be loosing interest, or at least that is how it seemed to me. over the next couple of weeks i continued to send her emails about what i was up to. mostly the same stuff that i was posting on my blog and she would respond about every other email. since i felt like she was flaking out on me i decided to start corresponding with another woman named tonya. this was around the middle of november. our conversations have gone quite well and we have a lot in common, but we might have a couple of religious differences that we might not be able to overcome. one being women in leadership roles in the church, but that is a post in itself. shortly after i started chatting with tonya, melissa replied to one of my emails telling me that she likes the fact that i've been assertively pursuing her and invites me to chat with her via aol's instant messenger. after a four and a half hour online conversation i convinced her to give me her phone number. out of all the women i've met online she has been the most reluctant to give me a phone number. about the same time i tonya gave me her phone number. so, two weeks and a few phone calls later i have two coffee dates. one today and one tomorrow.

last night i told melissa that she was one of two girls that i was talking to. i will tell tonya when I see her tomorrow. i'm not a player and i won't every be. i'm not one to date more than one woman at a time. but, i will go through the pre-date process with more than one woman at a time. especially if i've met them online. i say this because i understand that online chemistry doesn't guarantee chemistry once you meet face to face. since i'm not a player i don't hide the fact that i'm taking to other women. i think it is only fair and i feel that if you hide something from someone you violate what little trust you might have built with them. at first i hesitated to write this post because both melissa and tonya know about my blog, and i thought it would be weird for them to read my thoughts on them thus far, but i decided to anyway. besides that i haven't noticed any new visitors on my site traker. which leads me to beleive they don't even read it, but i could be wrong.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Rough Ride

while riding the bus to work over the last 6 weeks or so i've noticed a trend. the female bus drivers are more aggressive drivers than the male bus drivers. i'm not say that women in general are more aggressive drivers then men, but for some reason the two or three women who drive on my route are. what i've notice is that they accelerate faster, stop harder, switch lanes more abruptly, and it makes for an all around rougher ride. it feels like they are driving the bus like most people would a car.

the reason for their driving style might be less of a gender and more of an age. the male drivers, for the most part, look older than the female drivers, and it is from my experience from riding with multiple generations of drivers that the older one gets the less aggressive they drive. another reason might be that they don't have children? another observation of mine, and every auto insurance company, is that those with children drive more cautiously than those without. never the less, what explanation we come up with doesn't change the fact that these ladies are more aggressive drivers and it certainly doesn't justify it.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Question Of The Day

are you a "Doer" or a "Feeler"?

do you do what is necessary to succeed?


do you settle for what you feel like doing at the moment?

i was asked that question on saturday and it really made me think. i came to the conclusion that too often i do what i feel like doing at the moment. i do what is easy to do at the moment. we all have dreams. whether they are big or small. we have them. something else that hit home on saturday was that if you want to achieve your dreams you have to turn them into goals. you have to write them down as well as your plan for achieving them. if it is a big goal that will take time. then we need to break it up into stages, or mini goals is you will, so that we can see our progress and not loose focus on our goal, and after we have spent our time being a "Doer". we can look back and say, wow! look what i did. i achieved my dream.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Diamond In The Rough

amongst my friends there has been a buzz about eric's hair stylist and how great he is. i find it amusing that eric has recruited several of our friends to have their hair sculpted by his stylist. i didn't know that a great hair stylist was in such demand or that eric has so much clout when it came to hair? he has even been labeled as a fashion guru. i will admit that eric is quite well at adapting to the latest trend.

i'm don't care much about being trendy myself, or having stylish hair. i tend to stay a couple years behind the trendiest. primarily because it is cheaper to do so. i also like to keep my hair low maintenance. my stylist doesn't even use scissors to cut my hair. all it takes is a number five clipper guard for the top and a number two for the sides. despite the simplicity of my hair style i myself had trouble finding someone who could cut my hair right. you see the hair line over each of my ears is different, and i have had trouble finding someone who was good at making them look the same. i've gone to the low cost hair salons all my life. the ones that any fashionable person like eric wouldn't even walk by. the ones that anyone who wants a stylish hair cut stays away from. the one that i go too because it only cost $13.95 to have my hair buzzed off.

i should really get to the point of this post. my point is that sometimes you can find a diamond in the rough, and i've found one. her name is amanda and she works at master cuts in the vista ridge mall. she is tall, beautiful, kind, and soft spoken. i'm sure she could make a lot more money as a model. come to think of it, i wonder if she has ever done any modeling? anyway, i like having her cut my hair because she takes her time and does it right. i've had a few people cut my hair that i thought were trying to break a world record. amanda, on the other hand, takes her time and makes me feel relaxed as she softly and calmly cuts my hair. oh, and she makes the hair lines over my ears look right too. for this quality service i tip her well. so today i raise my mekong to amanda.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

BBQ Blues

i wouldn't say i'm totally bummed, but i am slightly bummed about not being able to eat the BBQ that my office is having catered today. i called my doctors office yesterday and left a message in which i asked if i could eat BBQ today. a nurse just called me to tell me that i could not feast on the luscious BBQ. i love BBQ, it is mmm mmm goooood, but i have to put aside gratification for a few days in order to allow my colon to take it easy as it heals from the infection that i was diagnosed with on monday. i'm an optimistic person. so, despite not being able to eat free BBQ. i'll have the opportunity to venture out of the office and try a gourmet soup from a local restaurant.